Iām extremely kinky, with an emphasis on extreme. To give an example, I love long-term and extremely restrictive bondage. Think full-body casts or getting locked up for an entire weekend. Iām a 32-year-old straight male who has been married for five years. In the last year we opened up our marriage because my sexual desires were putting too much of a strain on the marriage. My wife is incredible, and we do many wonderful kinky things together, but I needed more. More frequency, more intensity. Since then, I've seen some other women but looking around I came to the realization that gay men have all the fun! I often see these incredibly intense sexual experiences that I so desire in amateur gay porn or on various gay menās fetish profiles. I think men have a higher propensity to pursue...
Brooding Over Unmet Needs Daily
āI felt very much in this person's shoes at one point in my life,ā said bondage porn star James āHeavyā Woelfel.
Just like you, BOUND, Heavy was always turned on by extremely heavy bondage scenarios. That was the reason he chose āHeavy Bondage For Lifeā as his porn name. And just like you, BOUND, Heavy once felt conflicted about getting tied by other men because he didnāt identify as gay or bisexual at the time.
āI was really worried that if I played with men that meant my identity had to change too,ā said Heavy, looking back at that time in his life. āBut seeking out other genders to play with doesn't necessarily have to change your identity.ā
Heavyās identity ultimately did changeāhe now identifies as queerābut he wants you to know that your identity doesnāt have to change. āI view bondage the same as getting together with friends for a round of golf, or shooting hoops, watching a movie or game together,ā said Heavy. āI've had many bondage encounters that involved sex, but Iāve had even more that were simply about the bondage itself.ā
What Heavy is suggesting here, BOUND, is that you can meet up with another guy for a heavy bondage scene and enjoy the bondageāand even get off on the bondageāwithout having āsex.ā You can consent to being a guyās bondage sub for an evening or a weekend without having to consent to sucking his dick or letting him fuck your ass.
āBOUND just needs to be direct about what heās looking for when he reaches out to the guys he might like to play with,ā said Heavy. āHe needs to have the same conversations he had with his wife about limits, comfortability levels, and intentions. And if someoneās pushy about certain things that heās unsure about, then they're likely not the right person for him.ā
Bondage tops on Recon with the kind of gear required to put you in truly restrictive bondage will most likely have heard from other straight and/or straight-identified guys who were in it for the bondage, not the sex. If simply getting to tie you up isnāt enoughāif a gay bondage top isnāt interested in a bondage-only scene with youāheāll decline to play with you.
āThe most important thing is to find good and genuine people to share these kinds of experiences with,ā said Heavy. āBondage is inherently dangerous, especially when youāre the one being put in bondage, and it requires a lot of trust. BOUND needs to make sure heās putting his trust in the right people.ā
So, how do you know if youāre interacting and negotiating with and possibly playing with the right kind of guys? In addition to trusting your gutāalways trust your gutācheck their references. If youāre meeting bondage tops on Recon, you can send messages directly to the guys listed as friends on their profiles. Someone with a lot of friends (and a lot of original play pics) is a much safer bet than someone with no friends or pics, BOUND, but if youāre tempted to play with someone without friends listed on his profile, ask to be put in touch with other men heās played with. If he refuses, BOUND, donāt play with him.
āThe gay men I played with when I was still identifying as straight were generally very respectful,ā added Heavy. āI did have a few experiences where my limits werenāt respected. But thankfully Iām okay and I learned from those experiences.ā
And Heavy wants you to know that there are women out there who are into intense bondage.
āItās a myth that only men play to the level BOUND is interested in playing at,ā said Heavy. āThough I've had many incredible experiences with men, Iāve met just as many women that wanted to lock me up in the most serious forms of restraint you could ever imagine.ā
Follow Heavy on Twitter @for_heavy, on Instagram @_heavybondage4life_, and Only Fans at Heavybondage4life.
As we come into the holidays, I am dreading having to spend time with my sibling-in-law. They are fake, self-absorbed, and delusional. At family dinners, they always serve themselves first. They don't wait until everyone is served before starting, and they are often finished before everyone is served. They chew with their mouth open and talk with their mouth full. They talk about themselves constantly. They are rapidly approaching middle age and have never held a full-time or permanent job. As far as anyone knows, they have never been kissed or even on a date. At first, I tried to cut them some slack. They are sheltered and donāt really have any friends. Recently, I have taken to muting them on social media so that I donāt have to see their insipid posts. I have also started skipping events with my partnerās family, but I feel guilty when I do this. Also, I feel like it would be inappropriate to tell my partner how I feel. So, what do I do? Continue to suck it up, or further distance myself and risk hurt feelings for being absent? Or do I come clean with my partner and risk hurting them? I donāt know what I would expect them to do other than offer me absolution for missing events.
In-Law Lacking Substance
If someone has terrible table mannersāif someone chews with their mouth openādonāt you want them to serve themselves first and finish before you sit down to eat? As for the rest of itā¦ itās hard not to feel sorry for your sibling-in-law, ILLS, but itās easy for me to feel sorry for them because I donāt have to watch them chew or listen to them talk about themselves. And while avoiding your sibling-in-law this Christmas would be pretty simple (just plead Omicron), I donāt see how you can avoid seeing your partnerās sibling in the futureāseeing and tolerating and, perhaps, finding some pity in your heart for them.
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