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Can someone be both homosexual and asexual? I canât wrap my brain around this one.
Sure, a person can be asexual while also being homosexual⌠because asexuality is a spectrum, and that spectrum is broad and vast and includes people who experience sexual attraction and sometimes choose to act on their sexual attraction. Basically, some asexual guys want boyfriends but donât wanna fuck âem at all, other asexual guys want boyfriends but donât wanna fuck âem much. Itâs really not that confusing⌠unless you happen to be dating a guy who either doesnât know he's asexual or knows it and hasnât told you, in which case youâre likely to be as confused as you are frustrated.
Iâm a recently divorced 53-year-old bi-curious woman living on the East Coast. I...
There is more to this weekâs Savage Love. To read the entire column, go to Savage.Love.
Can someone be both homosexual and asexual? I canât wrap my brain around this one.
Sure, a person can be asexual while also being homosexual⌠because asexuality is a spectrum, and that spectrum is broad and vast and includes people who experience sexual attraction and sometimes choose to act on their sexual attraction. Basically, some asexual guys want boyfriends but donât wanna fuck âem at all, other asexual guys want boyfriends but donât wanna fuck âem much. Itâs really not that confusing⌠unless you happen to be dating a guy who either doesnât know he's asexual or knows it and hasnât told you, in which case youâre likely to be as confused as you are frustrated.
Iâm a recently divorced 53-year-old bi-curious woman living on the East Coast. I was with my ex for most of my life and he never mentioned this, but since I have begun dating, each new partner has told me how tight I am. You would think this was a good thing! I recently began dating a man who says he loves how tight I am. However, he also says it is making him come quickly. His marriage recently ended too, so he hasn't had a lot of sexual experience either. So, I don't know if he just comes quickly or if itâs because of me. Do you have any suggestions?
Maybe itâs youâmaybe itâs that youâre tight (which most men regard as a good thing)âor maybe heâs a premature ejaculator and heâd rather blame you than admit to it. Either way, donât let him stick his dick in you until after heâs made you come at least once.
Why do all the gay guys in my age groupâguys I likeânot want me? And why do only a few men above my age groupâguys I also likeâwant me?
Itâs a mysteryâa mystery best pondered sitting on the dick of an older guy who wanted you and got you.
Any tips for safe sex during threesomes? Thinking about having a MFF threesome!
Thereâs no such thing as safe sex, thereâs only safer sex. To be completely safe, skip the threesome, stay home, and take a nice, long, relaxing bath instead. Or not. According to the CDC, every year a quarter of a million people wind up in the emergency room after a fall in the bathroom and thousands more never make it to the ER because they DIED naked, wet, and alone after falling out of their tubs. Meanwhile, fewer than 50,000 people are diagnosed with primary and secondary syphilis annually. So, youâre probably safer at that threesomeâprovided you donât shower before or after it. Or ever again. (Full disclosure: Almost 700,000 people got gonorrhea in 2020 and 1.5 million people got chlamydia.)
As for making the sex safer, get tested, share your STI statuses, and use condoms. (Condoms, when correctly used, will protect you from syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, and pregnancy.) Basically, follow the same risk-reduction strategies you would follow for a twosomeâwith one addition: if M wants to fuck both Fs, he needs to change condoms each time he swaps holes. And to make your threesome emotionally safer, all three of you should be clear about what you do and donât want, and everyone should agreeâout loudâthat if someone feels left out, unsafe, or uncomfortable, they can call a timeout without the other two pouting about it.
Newly non-monogamous and dating after 16 years of monogamy. How to lighten the âlet downâ feeling when a date I've been looking forward to is over and I have to go back to my "regularâ life?
Your marriage, aka your âregularâ life, will fall apart if fun (going out, doing things, having adventures) is reserved for dates and stress (paying bills, doing chores, raising kids) is reserved for your spouse. New-relationship-energy-infused dates are effortless fun (usually), whereas keeping things fun with a spouse requires thought, effort, and MDMA.
You always say that a new dad has to be willing to go with little or no sex for a long time and canât bring up non-monogamy. Does the same go for the mom if sheâs the one who wants it more?
Women whoâve just given birth are usually less interested in (or capable of) sex for all the obvious reasons (physical trauma, physical exhaustion, emotional exhaustion), but studies have shown that menâs testosterone levels dip after becoming fathers, which can tank their libidos. Regardless of who wants it more, the best time for two people to discuss non-monogamy is BEFORE theyâve scrambled their DNA together, not after. If you didnât have that conversation before becoming parents, you should wait a yearâat leastâbefore bringing it up.
In college my boyfriend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him with a friend. He told his friend he didnât care, since he was planning to break up with his girlfriend at the end of the semester, and they both kept fucking her. She didnât know they both knew. What she did was wrong (cheating), but I think my boyfriend and his friend did something worse, as she didnât know she was being âsharedâ like this. How do I get my boyfriend to understand?
Sharing your boyfriend...
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