I have been involved in a long distance situationship (intimate friends) for three years. We live in different states. We met in person, then became friends online, and that is where the relationship blossomed. I went to visit her once for a week, and it was a very intimate and fun experience for both of us, although she did mention while I was there that she noticed my body order. I took care of that ASAP, and it didn't seem like a big deal, and it only seemed to come up when she was angry or frustrated about something. We have been planning on another visit, but she keeps bringing up my BO problem and has even said, “If it’s as bad as it was last time, you have to get a hotel room and can't stay with me, and I won’t kiss you or fuck you.” Which is confusing because we were very intimate last time, she seemed to be enjoying herself quite a bit, and even told me how much she enjoyed the sex for weeks afterwards. This issue arose months after that visit. Should I take her advice and be super diligent about BO or is this some sort of emotional manipulation or gaslighting? My close friends tell me they never notice my body odor — they don’t get as close to me, of course, because I’m not fucking them — and I shower at least once daily and use deodorant every day and brush my teeth multiple times a day. I realize I have BO sometimes, but I take care of it when I do. Also, and here's the dinger, she has untreated BPD.

Oddly Disrespectful Odor Request

That’s quite the dinger you dropped there at the end of your letter, ODOR...

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