1. Is pegging only for butts or can vaginas get pegged too?
I’m not a pegging purist.
When the term originated in my column — when my readers selected “pegging” as the name for a woman fucking a man in the ass with a strap-on dildo — it was gendered; pegging was something a woman did to a man. But now people use “pegging” to mean someone any gender fucking someone of any gender in the ass with a strap-on dildo, an evolution I fully support. But I do think having a term that specifically refers to a particular and popular kind of ass fucking is a good thing. Nevertheless, meaning follows use, and I am not the boss of the English language. “Language is, by its nature, majority-rule,” as Tamar Haspel noted over at The Atlantic this week, “[and] a word’s meaning changes when enough people use it in its new, changed way.” So, if people start using pegging to refer to any kind of penetrative sex that involves a dildo and a dildo harness, I won’t be mounting a legal challenge.
2. Best sex position for celebrating the NY verdict?
Not sure — but it should be something you can’t get away with doing even once, let alone 34 times.
3. I’m a unicorn to a hot married couple that lives a few hours away. I came up for her birthday and a fun party. For the first time, the sex was off. The wife and I had our usual hot time, but the husband seemed to ignore me and focused only on his wife. I left feeling rejected. I called and said it’s ok if he wants to fuck his wife, but why was I there then? He apologized and assured me he’s still attracted to me and wants me to come back. Should I go back?
Maybe the husband felt his wife should be the center of attention on her birthday… or maybe you were the center of attention the last ten times, and his wife asked to be the center of attention on her birthday. Either way, if the husband had a plan to focus things on the wife for a change, he should’ve shared that plan with you in advance. But if the sex was good every other time, I think you should give them another go. If you expect to be the center of attention during every threesome, you should share that expectation with them — but in all honesty, I don’t think that’s a realistic expectation. A one-off threesome with a couple? You’re the very special guest star and you should be the center of attention. A relationship with a couple that involves lots of threesomes? Everyone gets to be the center of attention once in a while.
