1. I’m an 81-year-old heterosexual woman whose husband died last May. I have found that my 56-year-old gardener of fifteen years can make me sexually happy. But now after four months he says he’s not respecting his wife by having sex with me. He relates this to going to a Catholic priest for confession. He seems to enjoy our sex. What should I tell him?

“You’re fired.”

P.S. Kidding, kidding — don’t fire your gardener. Tell him you’re grateful for the sexual happiness, you don’t want him to do anything that makes him feel uncomfortable, and then give him a raise.

P.P.S. Will no one free us from these meddlesome priests?

2. What is the most frequently asked question you get?

Hard to say — but I suspect I’ll get a lot more questions like the one above as my readership ages along with me.

3. I have a boyfriend who never asks for anything. He also never says “I love you.” Do you think this is a red flag?

It depends on how long you’ve been seeing this guy. If you’ve only been seeing him for a few weeks — especially if you haven’t had a DTR convo and your use of “boyfriend” is the relationship equivalent of grade inflation — the fact that he isn’t asking you to pick up his dry cleaning (just this once) or peg his ass (on the regular) could be seen as a green flag, e.g. he doesn’t expect you to do girlfriend grunt work before you’re BF/GF official. Same goes for saying “I love you”: if you’re still in the early stages, he may be feeling it, he may be thinking about saying it, but waiting until he’s sure before he says it? Another green flag… if the relationship is still relatively new.

But if it’s been a year and he doesn’t ask you for anything (and doesn’t offer anything) and he doesn’t say “I love you” (or stopped saying “I love you”), then we’re in red flag territory.

4. Best creative positions for pregnant people?

There aren’t good positions that work for all non-pregnant people — some positions/angles of penetration work for some people but not others — and experimentation with different positions is the best way to find the positions that work for you as an individual and/or a couple. I assume the same is true of pregnant people: some positions/angles of penetration work for some and not others, and experimentation is the best way to figure out which ones — creative or not — work best for you right now.

P.S. Congrats!

P.P.S. Full disclosure: Liberator has advertised on the show… not sure whether they’re currently advertising. So, this endorsement comes from the heart: Liberator’s collection of positioning sex pillows and wedges are truly a godsend for pregnant people. They can help you hold your favorite positions once you’re pregnant and find new ones that work for you — when you’re pregnant and after you’re pregnant. People should get gift certificates for Liberator at their baby showers.

5. Why do guys who wanna get pegged refuse to douche/prepare? What to do in those cases?

Peg a guy who doesn’t prepare once, shame on him. Peg a guy who doesn’t prepare twice, shame on you.

P.S. In fairness, some straight guys don’t know how to prepare; their girlfriends/wives/Dommes can and should direct them to one of the five million douching tutorials on YouTube. In cases where a guy has been directed to online douching tutorials and he still isn’t cleaning out properly… that guy doesn’t deserve to be pegged.

6. What amount of jealousy/insecurity in a poly relationship is okay?

“What matters most is not so much the amount of jealousy/insecurity, but the way it’s handled,” said Dr. Marie Thouin. “If someone grapples with jealousy but they’re staying on the same team with their partner(s), that’s okay; but if someone feels so disempowered that they start seeing their partner as an enemy, something needs to change.”

Dr. Marie Thouin is a dating and relationship coach who has extensively researched and written about compersion. Follow her on Instagram @drmariethouin.

7. Can lesbians please stop being so mad at me for being bi? I just want to have sex with a woman and not lie about my sexuality on my dating profile. I promise I don’t make being bi my whole personality.

You encounter two types of people on dating/hookup apps: people who are there to fuck people who wanna fuck them and people who are there to bitch about (and bitch at) people they don’t wanna fuck and/or people who don’t wanna fuck them. Yes, it sucks when a stranger goes out of their way to say something shitty to you on a hookup app; there are lots of shitty people everywhere, and some of them are lesbians. But your best move is to block shitty people and then refrain — as hard as it might be — from blaming all lesbians everywhere for the shitty behavior of a few lesbians on the apps.

P.S. You know who’s never mad at bisexual women for being bisexual women? Other bisexual women! You have options!

8. You never write about a hair fetish, let alone a fetish for completely bald heads. Because I’m a guy who’s very much turned on by women with smooth, shiny heads. And I’m not the only guy who has this fetish. What do you say about this?

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Read the rest of this week's column here! And this week on the Lovecast: Yip! Yap! Bite! A woman’s little, nasty, needy dogs are anything but “comfort animals” and her girlfriend isn’t having it. She refuses to move in with the caller while those tiny beasts are around. Are they fundamentally incompatible?

A British woman learned that her husband had sexual experiences with other boys at his British boarding school. She never knew this and finds it shocking. Dan brings on the sexiest survivor of boarding schools that we know—porn star John Thomas. Let John’s amazing voice take you on a journey examining situational homosexuality at British boarding schools.

And on the Magnum, a man with blood cancer has an enlarged spleen. He’s worried that anal sex might cause him harm. Dan brings on anal surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein to talk about risks, and how sex toys can rearrange your guts…safely. LISTEN HERE!