This week's Mercury is our annual Back-to-School issue, and it's crammed with lots of useful useless info for students—or anyone looking for career advice, really. We interviewed a bunch of local professionals with weird, unique, or cool jobs to find out how they got to be where they are (sometimes school helps! And sometimes it doesn't), PLUS we've got a scientific, not-at-all-bullshitty vocational guidance test, to help you pinpoint exactly what job you're best suited for.

You can take the test online right here, and our magical computer interface will calculate your answers and spit out a result: your perfect job. It's totally foolproof. (It's also binding, so, you know, fair warning.) So go ahead, take it!