Satori dances at Mary's Club (129 SW Broadway) on Wednesday from 9 to close, on Thursday 4:30 to 9, and on Saturday 9:30 to close. And, just in case you need a fix on Christmas Eve, Mary's is open 365 nights a year.

You're renowned for being able to move your ample breasts without touching them. How does one hone such a skill?

Well, for $5,000 they better do some kind of trick. I like that answer the best.

Do you get asked that question a lot?

It's one of the top three most asked questions, the other two being: 1) Have I ever taken yoga, and 2) Do I have sex like that?

My next question's a two-parter: 1) Have you ever taken yoga? And 2) Do you have sex like that?

I've taken like four or five yoga classes in my life. I was born with a collagen deficiency that allows me to hyperextend almost all the joints in my body. And do I have sex like that? I usually say: That's a very expensive question.

What do you do when you're not stripping?

I went back to school a couple of years ago. I declared a bachelor's in biology transfer degree at Portland State, but I've been thinking of changing it to law because I like to argue a lot, and I'm good at it.

What do you do when a customer gets "frisky"?

I'm very nice about it at first, and then I remind them that I probably can bench press more than they can. I try to make it funny, too, so it's not an attack or threatening to anyone's masculinity.

Ever had to sock someone right in the face?

No, usually if I get into a fight it's beating up my friends to keep them and their drunken behavior from getting their asses kicked.

You seem pretty tough.

I'm only five feet tall, but I lived in a commune house with six guys who all studied martial arts and beat me up all the time, so I learned to defend myself very quickly.

Do you ever hook up with your customers?

Since I've been in the industry, I have only gone on a date with one person that I didn't meet at work, be it a staff member or a customer--and it was the most horrendous date I ever went on. I will probably never again go out with someone that I didn't meet at work, because I at least know that there's a certain level of openness that we both have--that's kind of important.

What songs are you dancing to right now?

One of my favorite songs to dance to right now is Nick Cave's "Stagger Lee." I usually play it as my last song and I do this new contortion that's really fun. JUSTIN WESCOAT SANDERS


Portland meet your Miss Nude Oregon 2005! After sweeping the locally held competition, Athena's been getting even more attention than usual, including being the current cover girl for both Exotic and SFX. She's at Dolphin I (17180 SE McLoughlin) on Tuesdays, Wednesday, and Thursdays from 5 pm-midnight, Dolphin II (10360 SW Beaverton Hills Hwy) on Mondays from 5 pm-midnight, and at Dante's (1 SW 3rd) on the second and fourth Sundays of every month from 11 pm-1 am. You can also see her perform at "Monkey Noir," a singing/burlesque/dance performance happening this Friday at 341 SW 10th, $15 donation.

When you won Miss Nude Oregon, you were performing with a Latin theme, with a red ruffled costume and tango and salsa moves. What are your other routines like?

I do other theme sets, like I did a Flashdance character for one of the preliminary rounds. Sometimes it's a piece of music or an article of clothing that inspires you to create a theme or persona. And sometimes I just want to dance to techno music and rock out. But everything I do is really energetic. I don't really walk around onstage like some other dancers do. The comment I get the most is that I have too much energy.

Do you have dance experience?

I've done some ballet and some jazz. Really it's just been putzing around with different movement groups, non-professional, amateur stuff. And I was on the dance team in high school.

So how did you come to be a stripper?

I needed money! And I always did silly things like that. When I was three I would lift my skirt to show my underwear to people, and the only time I got suspended from school was for mooning someone. My mom says she always knew I would be a dancer. And I've always been an overly sexual person, and I flirt with everyone, which makes some people uncomfortable, especially women. Stripping's an outlet for my sexual energy so I don't get in as much trouble in my personal life. That's why I love it so much.

Have you ever had any bloopers while you were onstage?

Oh my god, all the time. Just last night I almost fell on my head. I was just having one of those clumsy days that usually happens around the time of your period. Lame bloopers like knocking a customer's drinks over or their glasses off of their heads happens all the time--which is sort of good because then they might think you're really drunk. MARJORIE SKINNER


Falcon is one of the most lovable, dedicated male dancers in town. See him Fridays and Saturdays at midnight in the Men of Paradise Revue show at Darcelle XV (208 NW 3rd), or contact to check out a photo and book a private party. If you do, give me a call. I'm there.

You do birthday parties and private events. Any particularly crazy stories from someone's party?

Probably the craziest thing that happened to me was at a revue show. The show was over, and we were signing autographs, and I felt a sharp pain in my butt. It turned out someone was biting me. So, instinctively, I hit her in the head and she started saying that her husband was going to come get me. Later I looked at my cheek, and there were teeth marks. She had actually drawn blood.

Is male stripping still all nude, or do you have to wear a G-string?

At revue shows you can go nude onstage, but most guys don't. I periodically will go nude if it seems like the crowd is into it. A lot of times at revue shows the women don't want you to go nude, like it kills the fantasy or something.

What's your favorite part of the job?

The freedom, meaning I don't have to work very often. If I don't feel like going to work, I don't have to deal with the repercussions of calling in sick.

Least favorite?

Even though I don't really worry about other people's opinions, it's the way people look down on me for how I choose to make money. People think being a dirt bag stripper is the only facet of my personality. But I have a high IQ, and I could do something else if I wanted to.

What are your favorite songs to strip to?

If I picked something it'd be slower R&B. My routines are more slow and sexual. A lot of times at a revue show, I start off slow and everyone's screaming "Take it off, take it off!" But by the end, they're into it.

How did you come up with your stage name?

I auditioned at the Viewpoint, and when I got there I had a bunch of names picked out, but they were all already used--so I asked the lady at the audition to pick out a name for me. She said, "You have sharp features and you really look like a Falcon to me." I auditioned and they asked me to stay and work, and the DJ kept saying over the mic, "This is Falcon." And I thought that name was so stupid, but by the next weekend ladies were coming back to see Falcon, so I was screwed.

Have you ever had a stalker?

I've got one right now. This is my second one. They try to book parties through the agency and think I won't be able to figure out who they are. KATIE SHIMER


Aine (pronounced "Anya") is a whiz on the pole and a bit of a pyromaniac. In a town full of amazing and exotic pole dancing athletes, she stands way out as one of--if not the best--in town. She also has 70 hours of tribal tattooing all over her body--the white inking on her front turns red under black lights! Check her mind-blowing acrobatics Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights at the Acropolis (8325 SE McLoughlin) after 9 pm--just make sure your shirt is flame retardant.

Can you describe your style of dance?

I try to incorporate a lot of gymnastics and dance moves. I make a conscious effort to move really slow and sexy. I also like to do a lot of pole tricks.

How long have you been dancing?

Eight years.

You describe yourself as a country girl. Where are you from?

Southern Oregon. I grew up on a farm out there.

How much gymnastic experience do you have?

I was in it for 11 years. I started when I was four. I competed in it for seven or eight years locally.

Can you stay on the pole for a whole song?

I can stay up there for a couple of songs.

Any pole disaster stories?

I've fallen off twice. Both times I was upside down. One of the times I was trying to set myself on fire--I ended up using too much rubbing alcohol, and I couldn't put the fire out and had to drop onto the ground. Thankfully no one was really watching, though.

What are your favorite songs to dace to?

Anything by Tool or Massive Attack or Tricky or Nine Inch Nails. I haven't danced to too much Tool lately because other people have been playing it, and I don't like to dance to the same thing.

So are there any pressing concerns or issues coming up in the exotic dancing world?

I'm very concerned about the Walmart they're trying to open across from the Acropolis. They're evil anyway, and it could be bad if they decided they didn't want a strip club across the street from their family friendly store. Anyone who loves the Acropolis should be against it. KATIE SHIMER