Now I’m not saying we should replace the Timbers with adorable robots—ummm… actually, I think that’s exactly what I’m saying. Check out this robot soccer blooper reel!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=j9arXtrhZBo

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)