Good hair day.
Good hair day. Win McNamee/Getty

SIGH. It's my turn to dig into Donald's latest fuck-ups again. Let's get this shit show started, shall we?

On a video posted to Twitter on Thursday, Donald said, "For many years countries have been taking total advantage of the United States on trade. Whether they are allies or not, they looked at us really as a bunch of soft touches. That's not what's happening anymore."

Correct! Instead of looking at us really as a bunch of soft touches they are looking at us as a bunch of fucking idiots who somehow let this goon be president. Moving on!

Expectations for Donald are so low that aides are reportedly "shocked" that he hasn't yet called Kavanaugh accuser Christine Blasey Ford a hussy. From CNN:

White House aides who steeled themselves for what President Donald Trump would say when he finally addressed the sexual assault allegation against his Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh were quietly stunned when Trump said the process should be followed and the accuser should be heard.

Before you start to think a brain tumor is making him decent, read the next paragraph:

In recent days, Trump has bragged about the positive coverage he's received for his response, according to multiple sources. That response has contributed to him continuing to say Christine Blasey Ford should come forward with her story, they said.

Next! Donald admin to take hundreds of millions of dollars from cancer research to imprison more immigrant children, as per CNN:

The Trump administration is planning to shift more than $260 million to cover the rising cost and strain of housing thousands of undocumented immigrant children in their custody β€” including millions of dollars from programs like cancer research and HIV/AIDS prevention.

The request comes as the program has been strained by record-high levels of children in custody, driven in large part by new policies that are holding kids longer and making it more difficult for them to be released to adults, such as family members.

It also comes amid news that the Department of Health and Human Services once again could not locate 1,500 children it had released over a three-month period.

In even more embarassing news, Donnie's rally in Vegas Thursday (Whyyyy is the man having rallies? He'll be in handcuffs by the time the next election rolls around.) will feature one Wayne Allyn Root, a conspiracy theorist who tweets shit like this:

Ok, so Oliver's wife is pretty hot for a dude who looks like Steve Mnuchin's public school cousin. She's also an Army combat medic and veteran rights advocate and I hope Wayne Allyn Root enjoys eating Trump's ass tonight in Vegas. From the Daily Beast:

Perhaps most infamously, when gunman Stephen Paddock opened fire and killed 58 people at a country-music festival on the Vegas strip last fall, Root proclaimed on Twitter, without a shred of evidence: β€œThis is real thing. Clearly coordinated Muslim terror attack. PRAY for our Vegas police. PRAY for victims. VERY bad. Awful.”

After sustained outcry over falsely linking a deadly mass shooting to Islamic terror, Root refused to apologize or back down, instead claiming he heard about the connection from β€œcredible news sources,” which, at that time, meant far-right conspiratorial websites like The Gateway Pundit. β€œI report it as I hear it,” Root added.

In the words of our leader, it gets worse:

Donald's grasp of free markets is... not great, and he's even managed to piss off Walmart, which really should be his base. From the Hill:

Walmart has issued a warning in a letter to U.S. Trade Representative Robert Lighthizer that the company may have to raise prices after the Trump administration moved forward with its plan to expand tariffs on Chinese imports.

Keep it up, Donald! If anything makes Americans show up to the polls, perhaps it will be higher prices at Walmart.

It has been 608 days since Trump took office. We have 608 days to go. HALFWAY THERE, FOLKS!! We can survive this. Right?