Hey Walking Dead Chitty-Chatters! Welcome to the WD Chitty-Chat Club in which we will discuss in depth what went down on last night's show... or should I say, "WHO" went down! And maybe that person went down, and maybe they didn't! It was all very confusing and a lot of people are upset, which is why we need to talk about it, get it out of our systems, and get back to deciding what type of sandwich we're having for lunch. Big recap and SPOILERS after the jump, so let's get chitty-chatting!

What? Like youve never had a shaving accident.
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "What? Like you've never had a shaving accident."


Here's what I'm thinking about last night's episode, "Thank You."

1) Or maybe it should've been called "Thanks for nothing!" Normally I'd recap the entire episode here, but let's get to the dead elephant in the room, and that dead elephant is DEAD GLENN!! Don't forget, Glenn is one of the very first members of Rick's Rangers going all the way back to season one, so for him to get buried under a mountain of zombies is a big effing deal. But let's back up a bit....

2) So this episode was all about "leaving people behind," as in should you or shouldn't you? The gang is trapped by the lagging horde of zombies and are desperately trying to make it back to Alexandria, and all the responsibility falls on Glenn and Michonne to get these numb-nuts newbs back to town. Naturally two have injured legs, one has a zombie bite, and then there's psychologically fragile chicken shit, Nicholas. You'll remember that Nicholas tried to murder Glenn before, but since Glenn's one of the very few characters left with a moral compass, he let him live. DUMB MISTAKE, GLENN! And here's why...

3) So far, this season has issued two moral edicts: 1) GET A GUN OR DIE. And 2) NICE GUYS GET THEIR ASS EATEN OUT BY A ZOMBIE. Remember how we used to all love Kiefer Sutherland's torture-laden 24—that is, until we found out that the guy running it was a hard-nosed Republican? Kind of puts a different spin on the show, huh? Well, that's just the way I'm starting to feel about WD—like maybe the creators actually believe that everyone really needs guns (just in case!), and that survival of the fittest is the only way to live? ANYWAY...

4) Glenn and Michonne are acting like goddamn rank amateurs in this episode. Getting trapped in that pet store was flat-out JUNIOR VARSITY, and didn't anyone think to climb up on a roof? UGH!! Anyway, suppressing his very accurate doubts to let Nicholas lead the way through town, Glenn and Nick get trapped by competing zombie hordes, and instead of jumping through a window, or maybe climbing into one of those thousand abandoned cars, they're forced to get up on top of a rather small dumpster. Again, JUNIOR VARSITY! It's a pretty dire situation, but still an escapable one... until Nicholas has his marijuana freakout and blows his brains out, toppling both he and Glenn off the dumpster and into the horde. Before he shot himself, though, Nicholas said, "Thank you." Wait... what... THANK YOU??? FUCK YOU, NICHOLAS!! A THOUSAND TIMES FUCK... YOUUUUUUUUUU!

5) Aaaaand Glenn gets his entrails eaten out. Or does he??? More on that in a minute, but this was my immediate reaction when Glenn was getting supposedly eaten: "AWWWWWWWWW!" That's what this show has done to me. Instead of recoiling upon seeing someone's guts being pulled out of their stomach, I reacted as if my favorite cousin Stan wasn't going to join us for Thanksgiving this year. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?

6) NOW TO THE CONSPIRACY THEORIES: Twitter lit up last night with opinions on how Glenn may have actually escaped from this seemingly hopeless situation. CONSPIRACY THEORY 1: Nicholas fell on top of Glenn, and those were HIS entrails the zombies were eating. And somehow Glenn crawls underneath the dumpster, which means... HE'S ALIVE!!! CONSPIRACY THEORY 2: On the Talking Dead aftershow, the dead character in question always shows up to deliver a post-mortem. Glenn (Steven Yuen) did not, which means... HE'S ALIVE!!! CONSPIRACY THEORY 3: The WD showrunner, Scott M. Gimple, sent out a release that cagily did not say the words, "Glenn is dead." In fact he said we may be seeing him again in some form. Which means... HE'S ALIVE????

7) Look, guys. To tell you the truth? I hope Glenn's dead. It sucks that WD killed off another minority, and he was certainly beloved, but if he somehow gets out of this situation, I'm gonna be pissed. Glenn dies in the comic, and this show works because it's not afraid to kill off major characters. Plus if he is hiding underneath that dumpster, I'm gonna call bullshit. However, on the other hand, if he is dead, we're gonna have to put up with Maggie crying and belly-aching for weeks... so stock up on the Advil.

8) All in all? A REALLY GOOD AND FRUSTRATING EPISODE. I'm psyched the gang is spending a lot of time outside of Alexandria, avoiding the boredom of the prison and Farmer McDrunky's farm. SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? Got any theories? Share 'em in the comments below, and we'll see what happens next week! And once again, "FUCK YOUUUUUUU, NICHOLAS."

Hey guys! Come get me out from underneath this dumpster!!
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Hey guys! Come get me out from underneath this dumpster!!"