I don’t like YouTube clips with the words “Dumb Blonde” in the title. However, in this video’s defense, Sharknado star Tara Reid is indeed blonde… and her “scientific” explanation of sharks in this “Shark After Dark” interview for Shark Week is indeed dumb. Wait,…it actually goes far beyond dumb into the realm of “baffling.” But it’s hilariously entertaining nevertheless!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)