[What follows is one of the many merry articles in the Mercury's Winter Guide 2025. Find a print copy here, subscribe to get a copy mailed to you here, and if you're feeling generous this holiday season, support us here.—eds.]
Seasoned gift-givers know that the best presents are spotted spontaneously, months before the holidays kick in and chain retail stores become outlets for psychological warfare. But allow us to suggest an alternative method: this gift guide, which will neither link to Amazon nor recommend you buy your dad a meat thermometer. In fact, you’ll find nearly everything listed right here in town—maybe even on your side of the river. Let’s shop!
Something to Squeeze
NeeDoh Nice Cube
The NeeDoh Nice Cube is like if a stress ball was cube-shaped and felt like the best thing you’ve ever felt in your life. I got mine at The Yo Store in September and have spent the months since proselytizing about its wonders. Everyone needs one of these things. When you are holding it in your hand, everything in the world begins to feel okay. They come in several sizes and colors, and if you’re buying one for a friend or your kid or whatever, just go ahead and buy one for yourself, too. I know, I know—nobody needs more plastic crap lying around. But if you ever feel like you don’t know what to do with your hands, or you just need to squeeze something, you actually do kinda need this. Get your hands on it and you’ll thank me later. (In addition to several small businesses in Portland, Nice Cubes should be available at your local Barnes and Noble or Walgreens.) TAYLOR GRIGGS
A Strawberry Dildo
Since sexual fun and health are such important parts of life, WHY ARE YOU GIVING YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVERS STUPID CANDLES? Wake up, smell the coffee, and get your sexy butt over to She Bop, Portland’s fave sex toy shop. Specializing in body-safe toys, education, and sex positivity, She Bop has the sensual stuff your (or anyones) needs, regardless of how you identify. Vibrators, anal toys, masturbation helpers, lubes, books, games, and so much more can be found here, but let’s pause for a moment to consider a strawberry-embossed dildo. In case you haven’t noticed, strawberries are the current fad du jour, and cute as fuck. So why not give your fun lovin’, sexy pal (or grandma… hey, I don’t judge) a seven-inch silicone dong with a suction cup base (compatible with most harnesses) that is ALSO covered with adorable strawberries? Of course, there are so many different styles, sizes, and shapes at She Bop. But at only $40, the strawberry dildo is reasonably priced, and may become the most beloved item in your sex pal’s arsenal (AKA bedside table drawer). WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Smart Gifts for Dumb Times
The Expensive Gift That Says This Is Also for Your Birthday and Graduation
While this is a deeply subjective category, Criterion's Wes Anderson Archive is both in it and on the wishlists of many Fantastic Mr. Fox-lovin' folks in this town. Even if the Anderson fan in your fam already has the auteur director's catalog on physical media, this beautiful boxset comes with 25 HOURS of supplemental extras. (Everyone who loves director commentary just looked into the camera and raised their brows in surprise.) But do 10 remastered movies—Asteroid City and The Phoenician Scheme will presumably be in the next boxset—packaged like retro ledgers equal the holiday, Valentine's, birthday, graduation, and housewarming gifts exchanged to receive them? Big YMMV energy. The approximately $500 suggested retail price of this treasure places it firmly in the company of a Le Creuset dutch oven or one-of-a-kind vintage trinket from Oko. SUZETTE SMITH
2026 Calendars That Say "I for One Welcome the Unstoppable March of Time"
New year calendars are both useful gifts and something the receiver has to put up on their wall, meaning you’ll glow in your own thoughtfulness whenever you visit them. If you choose to gift one made by a local artist, that can only compound your magnanimous renown. Portland is chock full of spots to pick up artsy goods, like shops Secret Room Press and Hi Books and pop-up market Crafty Wonderland. Art calendar hustle pioneer Nicole J. Georges' Emotional Support Animals are always worth a look; they pair her smart paintings of animals with worldly wisdom. Erika Rier's gorgeous creatures tromp across our corkboards every year and will brighten the desks of little monsters in your life. Raf Spielman's illustration-a-day pad for Paddler's Coffee in Tokyo is a seasonal brick of ingenuity made to last all year. SS
Publications by Incarcerated Writers from Some People Press
The prison reform advocate in your life wants to know about Some People Press. Founded by Agnès Varda Forever co-creator/Portland State University professor Laura Glazer and Harrell Fletcher, the artist-founder of PSU’s Art and Social Practice MFA program, the small press is a local effort. They publish autobiographies by currently and formerly incarcerated writers, plus art books and other curiosities.
Glazer and Fletcher have facilitated a writing and publishing workshop at Northeast Portland’s Columbia River Correctional Institution since 2022, offering encouragement and structured feedback to participants. The resulting works are keenly observed, revealing, and important reading. Browse Some People Press’ online catalog of books with beautifully designed covers, or thumb through them in person at Buckman’s Up Up Books. LINDSAY COSTELLO
The Future of Truth by Werner Herzog
Werner Herzog, iconic director and overly memeified 83-year-old, has made almost as many films as years he’s been alive. Crossing the porous boundaries between documentary and fiction, Herzog’s work has been obsessed with the search for truth, often to the detriment of facts. Quotes, history, whole people—in even his so-called “documentaries,” Herzog’s made up a lot. “I just don’t think truth is some polestar in the sky that we will one day get to,” he states in his new book, The Future of Truth, translated from German by Michael Hofmann. “It’s more like an incessant striving.” The book is Herzog’s “uncertain journey” through this “post-truth era,” collecting essays on the sore spots of our negotiable reality—fake news, AI anxiety, Japanese families-for-hire, Elon Musk’s limited imagination—and his primordial quest for “ecstatic truth,” all with plenty of fascinating anecdotes and the warm, easy eloquence of a lifelong bullshitter. DOM SINACOLA
Cinephile Merch From Human Boy Worldwide
For the person in your life whose personality would best be described as “movies,” Human Boy Worldwide offers a collection of peak cinephile apparel. Dad hats and cotton tees display a broad but lovingly chosen palette of films and directors—the company’s taste swings from Korean director Hong Sang-soo’s quiet work to the output of Clint Eastwood’s Malpaso Productions. For lovers of animal cinema, buy tees for Au hasard Balthazar (sad donkey movie, 1966) and Ishtar (1987), the latter emblazoned with a cartoon camel. Or find an all-white Party Girl (Parker Posey showcase, 1995) hat that can be switched out with an all-black Salò (nightmare, 1975) hat, depending on mood. I can personally vouch for the extremely blue Blue Collar (1980) tee, which advertises both my anti-corporate values and admiration for Paul Schrader’s film, as well as the hat celebrating Robert Altman’s 3 Women (1977). DS
Music Millennium’s Physical Film Media Section
Tucked against a few back walls opposite packed rows of classical, jazz, and opera CDs, East Burnside record store Music Millennium stocks a surprising selection of new and used DVDs, Blu-rays, and 4K movies. Organized by distribution label, their new discs range from the recognizable (Criterion, A24, Warner Archive), to the specialty (Vinegar Syndrome, Radiance, Indicator), to the esoteric (Deaf Crocodile, 88 Films, Mondo Macabro), and include enough lavish titles that require region-specific players to satisfy the most masochistic collectors. But for every brand new, pricey Shaw Brothers Classics: Volume 7 (from Shout! Factory) box set you can gawk at on the shelf at Music Millennium, you’ll also discover a previously-watched Steven Seagal DVD double feature (only $5) in their equally strange and rewarding used section. DS
Actually Cool Subscriptions and Memberships
Mississippi Records Community Supported Records Subscription
Mississippi Records, the record store, is the best record store on the planet. Mississippi Records, the record label, is one of the best record labels on the planet. And though they’re no longer one and the same, they’re still deeply in cahoots, pressing only the choicest cuts to vinyl. So why not get the audiophiles in your life a subscription to their Community Supported Records (CSR) club? There’re two options for the subscription: Mississippi Records CSR, or Mississippi + Friends CSR. Both get you all the releases from Mississippi for a year, while the + Friends CSR ensures even more weirdo outsider releases will be coming your way. NOLAN PARKER
Portland Mercury Subscription
Tired of AI and the algo? SHAMELESS PLUG, the Mercury launched our subscription service earlier this year—zero AI used, baby! For $100 you can send our beautiful rag to loved ones (or hated ones) for an entire year. On top of receiving every print issue, the lucky recipient of this gift will also score our very cool oversized tote bag, and a heap of crazysexycool mail stuffers like stickers, Polaroids, zines, etc. You’ll also be able to sleep so tight knowing that you’re supporting independent journalism. And if that isn’t enough, yes it is. NP
Movie Madness Membership
In the medium old days of streaming, you could fire up Netflix or Hulu on the first of the month and reliably find a handful of new releases and classic blockbusters worth blowing a few ad-free hours on. But we can’t have nice things anymore, so now you gotta sit through three laxative commercials for the privilege of watching a ten-part miniseries about Jabba the Hutt’s accountant, or the worst Lethal Weapon sequel. Save your loved ones from this dire fate with a gift membership to Movie Madness. The shelves are overflowing with new releases and Oscar winners for the normie crowd, plus a deep bench of obscure gems and cult classics for true film freaks. Yes, you have to leave the house, but that’s half the fun of a video store! Catch a screening at the miniplex, chat with fellow film buffs, or even crack a local microbrew if you’re so inclined. BEN COLEMAN
Foodie Friendly
Homecooked Zine
The Japanese Ancestral Society’s community lunch and cultural program Ikoi no Kai has been running since 1979, providing nutritious meals to older community members (everyone is welcome!) out of a Southeast Portland church basement. Inspired by the spiral bound community cookbooks of yore, Ikoi no Kai volunteers invited folks to contribute recipes, photos, and stories, which were all compiled into Homecooked, a collaborative and intergenerational zine cookbook. IMO, one of the highlights of the holiday season is sharing recipes and food with loved ones—and this collection, colorful and mostly handwritten, fully embodies that warmth and spirit. You can order it online, although you’ll have to pick it up in-person from Ikoi no Kai, so check the calendar for the day’s menu and stay for lunch. Pro tip: While you’re there, browse the selection of handmade cards for sale. JANEY WONG
Ranger Chocolate Bars
Portland is known to take its coffee really seriously, but there’s another bean that artisans here give just as much consideration to: the cocoa bean. Our local chocolate scene has it all, from chocolate bars that are available in nationwide retailers to fiercely independent makers who work directly with cacao farmers and craft single-estate chocolate. In my books, Ranger Chocolate is one of the most accessible chocolate purveyors in town, striking a balance between quality and making products that the average chocoholic will enjoy. Their Adventure Series is a good place to start, with a pinot noir bar showcasing the flavor of Oregon wine country and Kann collaboration bars offering a taste of the buzzy restaurant for superfans (or folks who have yet to score a reservation). JW
A Gift to Sip: Smith Teamaker
Portlanders are #blessed to have easy access to the Steven Smith Teamaker shop. (Hint: If you’ve never had a nitro chai, get ready to have your mind blown.) The inner eastside shop’s aroma of loose leaf tea is intoxicating, and the selection is big enough to treat any tea lover on your gift list. Must-try blends include the chocolate peppermint pu-erh, black lavender, ice cream royale, and for a caffeine-free herbal experience, cozy up with a cup of soothe sayer. Note: the soothe sayer tea is a comforting mix of peppermint, ginger, licorice root, wild cherry bark, black pepper, and echinacea. It not only tastes nice, it doubles as a wellness tea to get your loved one through the cold and flu season. For a festive gift, try a seasonal blend like silent night. Many of the tea selections can be purchased as loose leaf, or in a biodegradable satchel. COURTNEY VAUGHN
Merch From Jet Black Coffee Company
The Gateway area of NE Portland has been in the news recently for the closure of its Fred Meyer and a perceived lack of interest in revitalization from local leadership. But while some box stores have left, the people remain, and plenty of spots around Gateway are powering through as welcoming gathering places for a diverse community. Enter Jet Black Coffee Company. They’re locally owned (with a Concordia location, too), they roast their own coffee, and they have vegan and gluten-free snacks. If that doesn’t check your boxes, I don’t know what will. Consider a Jet Black gift card for the leftist coffee drinker on your list (which is probably all of the people on your list??), or browse their merch shop. I personally love the shirt modeled after Jawbreaker’s vintage “When It Pains it Roars” tee, which was styled after the Morton salt label. The shirt asks an important question: Do you like Jawbreaker, salt, or local coffee? To which one can answer: Porque no los tres? ELINOR JONES
An Elevated Buzz
Painted Lady Gin From Pilot House Distilling
Here’s a holiday gift scenario to plan for now: you’ve been invited to a function and want to bring something slightly more substantial than a six-pack or a bottle of house red, but not so ostentatious that you can’t crack that bad boy open and start sipping. Enter the locally produced mid-shelf spirit with a fun label, a perfect mix of “I didn’t get this from a gas station on the way here,” but also “I didn’t spend more than thirty dollars.” Painted Lady Gin from Pilot House Distilling checks all the boxes: It’s from nearby Astoria, the bottle has a cool tattooed mermaid on it, and the contents inside are smooth and approachable. Everyone’s got a cabinet full of obligatory party wine collecting dust, and good luck cramming another tall boy in the fridge, but no one’s gonna say no to a locally produced mid-shelf spirit with a fun label. BC
Booze I Am Drinking to Support the Local Economy
Here's a farmer's market tip for Portland winter: Some of those humble booths sell booze—the hard stuff, the spiritus sanctus sine sanctus. Try a little taste, and the cold melts away. If you're like me, you just might go home with a liter of herby aquavit from Rolling River Spirits. Then when you have to answer questions like why do you have a bag full of beets, turnips, and booze—the answer is WINTER. And it's FOR YOUR SISTER! This one you need to get from the liquor store or the source, but Kachka Horseradish Vodka is a perfect “I don't know you very well, but we're both over 21” present—provided you at least know they aren't a teetotaler. But the thing I now buy both for those I am indebted to and for myself is Straightaway's 12 Nights of Cocktails advent calendar. No specific countdown attached nor required. SS
Nerds Without Plans
Next Level Pinball Gift Pass
Everyone knows a pinball wizard or two who’s worn grooves in the Sopranos machine at their local dive bar. Portland is actually pretty flush with pinball joints, but nestled behind the Hillsboro Airport is a veritable Library of Alexandria dedicated to the coin-operated arts. Next Level Pinball Museum boasts over 650 tables in pristine condition, plus more conventional arcade attractions and a lounge densely packed with the sort of nerdy ephemera you’d expect to find in the lounge of a pinball museum behind a regional airport. Day passes are $23 and cover free play on the vast majority of machines, which means for the cost of an uninspiring cheese pizza you can give the bumper punk in your life a nearly endless series of elaborate contraptions to guide a tiny silver orb through. And after all, isn’t that the real spirit of the holidays? BC
Tickets to Blade Runner Live
Are you or somebody you know in a “mixed-genre” relationship? (That’s when partners have differing cultural interests. For example, one might be a huge movie nerd, while the other is a huge theater nerd [raises hand.]) If so, have I got news for you: On January 16, the Keller Auditorium is hosting a one-night only showing of Blade Runner on the big screen, with live accompaniment of the film’s iconic ambient Vangelis soundtrack by the Avex Ensemble. This is the perfect gift from me to my partner, and I’ve already bought tickets. (The second gift will be me not asking him who that is talking during the voiceovers. I’m good at gifts!!!) EJ
For The Person Who Is So Stressed
The Gift of Relaxed Muscles
Is someone in your life a bit… on edge? That’s a rhetorical question, considering, um, everything about our current country and world. Long-term stress relief may require creating a new political order out of the dust of our current regime, but in the meantime, your friend or family member with a constant case of shoulder tension and jaw strain would definitely benefit from some assistance. If they’re cool with being touched, consider a gift card to a local massage studio. (I have had great experiences at Mudra Massage, but there are plenty of other great places in Portland. Choose a studio close to the recipient’s home to increase the likelihood they’ll actually make an appointment and go.)
For people who’d rather let heat (not human hands) do the job, Portland is home to a bunch of spas with saunas and soaking pools. On the lower end of the price spectrum, there’s the sauna experience at Löyly and the soak and sauna at Common Ground Wellness Cooperative. If you want to gift a truly luxurious experience, check out Knot Springs (which offers multiple soaking pools, including a cold plunge, as well as a steam room and sauna), or the new and extremely fancy Cascada Thermal Springs, which boasts an underground, silent “sanctuary” spa. Most of these spas offer massage services, too, if you really want to tell your loved one to CHILL THE FUCK OUT in the nicest way possible. They won’t be mad, I promise. TG
A Gift Subscription to Environmental Composer Chad Crouch’s Substack
Local composer, producer, and field recordist Chad Crouch is seriously prolific, and his restful nature soundscapes will help your friend fall asleep at night. For the Spotify-averse, a far more artist-supportive way to bliss out is through Crouch’s Substack, which is also regularly updated with illustrations and stories.
You’ll find a few navigation links at chadcrouch.substack.com: “Soundwalk” leads to weekly-ish uploads of field recordings overlaid with original musical scores. (The October 2 entry was recorded at Mt. Tabor Park; Crouch supplements the piece with bird identifications and digital sketches.) “Soundscape” compiles relaxing recordings from places like Oaks Bottom and Sauvie Island, while “Sound & Vision” leads to nature audio paired with photo essays, often lending historical context to the places in which the sounds were recorded.
A mere $2.92 a month (when you pay for a year subscription) offers your recipient early access to albums and music releases, plus exclusive field recordings and other naturalistic tidbits. Your gift recipient is on their phone/computer all the time anyway—give them some digital green time. LC
Binoculars From Nocs Provisions
Birdwatching is everyone’s new-ish way to chill, and while one of the activity’s strengths is its low-cost nature, let’s admit it: The best thing about having a new thing is buying the tools and accessories that support said new thing. Even better is when someone gifts you those tools and accessories. Hint, hint: Nocs Provisions makes cool-person binoculars with colorways like “alpaca,” “beeswax,” and “celeste.”
You can find Nocs binocs at downtown shop Canoe, which, incidentally, is the kind of store within which you could satisfy the fanciest people on your gift list—they’ve got Florentine toothpaste, Japanese rice bran candles, and wabi-sabi glass vases. Google describes Canoe as a “trendy source stocking contemporary furniture and home goods in spare, snug environs,” which is a long way of saying “it’s chic in there.” But I digress! Grab Nocs’ standard issue pair—it’s waterproof, fogproof, and boasts an ergonomic grip, perf for spying a spark bird. LC
For the person who gets things framed
Lauren Blair Dungeness Crab Print
I’ve dreamed about getting a tattoo from local artist and “outside-lover” Lauren Blair for years, admiring her Instagram page full of inked flora and fauna. Her striking use of color and pattern is distinctive and fun, but her books always fill up fast. Luckily, Lauren sells prints of her work, which would make a great statement piece in a home office, kitchen, or wherever else your giftee needs an uplifting pop of color. I love this Dungeness crab, which of course is prized 'round these parts. Other gorgeous prints depict local species like rainbow trout, trillium, and lupine. JW
Portland Parks Foundation Posters
Everyone who has ever stepped foot in Portland knows about our amazing public parks, and those who have spent more than a few days here have likely developed personal relationships with some of them. You can’t bottle up and gift the parks themselves, but the Portland Parks Foundation’s online gift shop offers the next best thing: Gorgeous poster prints representing 10 of the city’s best parks, with illustrations by top-tier local artists.
For bonus gifting points, get personal with it. Do you and your friend love comedy in the park? There’s a gorgeous print of Laurelhurst Park (art by Allie Yacina) with their name on it. Did you and your partner meet at a Mount Tabor rave, or have your first Hinge date at the Cathedral Park Jazz Fest? You know what to do (art by Dorothy Siemens and Jax Ko, respectively). Pickup basketball lovers will enjoy Studio Dad’s somewhat abstract depiction of Alberta Park, while nature enjoyers of all stripes will adore Jax Chow’s gorgeous rendition of the Leach Botanical Garden. PPF offers offset lithograph prints for $35, as well as signed silkscreen posters for $250, if you want to ball out. (The latter option isn’t available for all designs.) Deliver them already framed for all-time best gift giver status. TG
Fun!!!
Cute Underpants
The basics are important. Even if you have to cheap-out on everything else, a good pair of shoes, socks, and underpants are the true necessities of life. So if you love yourself or someone else, both of you deserve a cute pair of underpants from Portland’s UnderU4men. Talk about a successful niche business! Popping onto the scene 20 years ago, downtown’s UnderU4men is famous for their top quality briefs, boxers, jocks, thongs, and (my fave) the “exotic” category. Featuring top brands in every conceivable color, style, and shape, wearing just about any of these babies will make the owner feel 100 percent hotter—even when they’re covered from head to toe in frumpy winter gear. And when you take all those outer layers off? Oooh-la-la, is it hot in here or is it just YOU? (I’m a size medium if you’re feeling generous.) WSH
Rolls of Raffle Tickets or Wrist Bands
Do you have a loved one with limited resources or on a seriously constricted budget? Do they like to go to various shows and events? Are they a little on the “morally ambiguous” side? Then how about giving them rolls of various colored raffle tickets and/or wristbands from The Lippman Company? For my money, Lippman’s is one of the most underrated places to buy unusual, one-of-kind gifts. There you can find so many things that people might not think they need, but one day will—such as a sequined cowgirl hat. Or weirdly realistic 3D animal masks. Or the suddenly very popular inflatable frog/dinosaur/unicorn protest costumes. But it’s also the best place to buy the aforementioned raffle tix or wristbands for those pals who need to stay active and entertained while on a tight budget. Remember, as the old adage goes, “Teach a person to fish and they’ll eat fish for a day—but give them wrist bands and raffle tickets and they’ll get into shows for a lifetime!” WSH
Puzzle Them
Your friends and family are bound to get tired of perusing Netflix for a show worthy of binging during winter’s often dreary days. Give them something tactile and calming to cure the boredom. Portland has a plethora of board game and jigsaw puzzle stores. For a moderately challenging gift, consider a 500-piece artist puzzle from Portland Puzzle Company. The shop offers artists’ renderings of local landmarks, including a portrait taken inside The Sports Bra. Shoppers in pursuit of a more challenging collection can hop over to Red Castle Games and choose from a variety of high-quality, 1000-piece Ravensburger puzzles featuring everything from a picturesque painting of bikes resting on an Amsterdam bridge, to Star Wars and Jurassic Park-themed designs. If you can’t choose, it’s hard to go wrong with this 500-piece Sloth Selfie puzzle. CV
Portland-Approved
Locally Made Gear From North St. Bags
You don’t need a lot of fancy gear to ride a bike. But, let’s be honest, it’s fun to have it. Among the most covet-worthy bike accessories is the trusty bike bag, which comes in a variety of forms (handlebar packs, panniers, tool pouches). Well-made versions of these bags can run someone a pretty penny, but they’re worth it. Portland company North St. Bags offers some of the best in the game, which the bike person in your life has likely been drooling over for quite some time already. End their suffering and buy them a bag. It’ll spur on an insatiable (and possibly financially crippling) bike bag addiction, but the look on their face will be worth it all. (Another recommendation for high-quality, locally-made bike bags: PNX Bags. PNX Bags offers a little less in terms of variety, but the bags look sick and will be very impressive to your bike friend who doesn’t have THAT much stuff to carry.) TG
“Greetings From War-Ravaged Portland” Merch and Memorabilia
It was only a matter of time before Portland creatives would pounce on the city’s new war-torn status. Cheeky, self-depracating merch is one of our many specialties. Now you can send postcards to loved ones this holiday season to let them know you survived. Alternatively, just leave them blank and gift them. Equally fun! You can thank local yarn retailer and crocheter Hailey Bailey for the design, which can also be purchased as a shirt. The gifts keep on giving! If the now-iconic protest frog is more your jam, the internet has that covered, too. Snag a punny T-shirt or baseball tee featuring the bravest inflatable amphibian in the city, courtesy of local design shop United Snakes Press, or box up a special frog tee from Boss Dog, who’s already cooked up a design that’s an ode to the Rose City and its enduring protests. CV
Or forget about stuff.
Donate to Northwest Immigrant Rights Project
The asshole-in-chief’s obsession with Portland is easy to joke about, but it's not at all funny for our undocumented friends, family, and neighbors who are living in fear of detainment by ICE. While it will always be a good idea to throw down when a GoFundMe is shared for a specific person, not everyone has a support system trying to get them help. For this reason, I’d recommend a gift donation to Northwest Immigrant Rights Project (NWIRP), which provides legal services to immigrants, asylum seekers, and refugees for little to no cost, regardless of immigration status. NWIRP’s proximity to the NW Detention Center in Tacoma and their experience with folks in detention makes them an impactful place to throw some dollars this year—especially for that person on your list who hates both the current administration and physical gifts. EJ
Donate on Behalf of Conservative Family Members
Gosh, I really do reckon that we all have conservative family members pissing their money down the drain supporting the abolition of trans and women’s rights, AmeriKKKa’s military industrial complex, and the destruction of the environment. I know I do—Hi dad! Instead of buying them a museum membership they’ll never use (Hi dad!), write them a nice card explaining that you’ve donated to Indigenous sovereignty funds, public libraries, and Palestinian liberation groups on their behalf. If you think that’ll cause too much drama (Hi dad!), make a few donations on their behalf and don’t tell them! Just write a nice card wishing them happy holidays, and bask in the light of supporting what you know in your heart of hearts to be the right thing. NP
