The castrated-by-choice man whose letter was last Thursday's SLLOTD—and who casually mentioned that he had been castrated by choice—wrote back to share his story and let us know how that happened...

So the castration saga.

I had problems with my testicles since childhood—both undescended. Had surgery at age nine but only half successful and it left big scars on both sides of my groin. So when puberty hit, I was very self-conscious about the scars and only one ball in my sac (plus I figured out very soon I was a homo). By the time I started having sex with men in my 20s, the scars had faded quite a bit and my pubes further obscured them, but there was still the half empty sac problem—at least in my own head. Some years went by, I had two relationships (both ended in death) and then I was single again for several years. In my 40s, the urologist said I should have the undescended one removed due to cancer risk. Got that done, then a year or so later figured out that I had low testosterone and went on HRT. Then decided to see if I could get an implant and found a doc at UCSF who was doing them.

So finally I had the appearance of two nuts, but it never really satisfied me. My sac was very small, and even with the artificial one in, it was hard for me to find a cock ring that worked.

Flash forward several years. Now in a healthy relationship with another kinky guy and I started having erotic castration fantasies.

We used the fantasies in our play. They were very strong and very erotic. I started discussing with my partner actually getting castrated and having the scrotum removed too. He was supportive if I decided it was right for me. And he found it erotic to think about having a eunuch boy. About three years after the fantasies started, I made the decision to pursue castration. I found a network of gay men online who are into this fetish. Met a guy who was already a eunuch, became friends, and he directed me to a cutter. Visited with him on the phone and then made a weekend visit to check each other out. We scheduled the procedure for about six weeks later. My partner was there, my eunuch friend, the cutter who was doing me (also a euncuh), another cutter friend who assisted and a friend of theirs. Once I was strapped to an X shaped bondage table, any resemblance to a BDSM scene ended and it was all business—sterile procedure and plenty of lidocaine. The recovery was a bitch—more so because of the scrotum removal—but no complications and it all healed nicely after 6 weeks.

Now that it's been done for over two years, it feels completely natural. In fact, it feels like my body is finally the way it should be. I like having men check me out and some are very intrigued and turned on. I'm
very up front about it on my Recon and Manhunt profiles and as a result I get a lot of contacts from men who are thinking about getting it done. It's just as erotic to be a euncuh as I had fantasized it would be, so this story has a very happy ending.

There you have it. I'm always open to sharing the story and answering questions.