FINALLY, a new Krispy Kreme joint is here, and… what’s it been? Like a week since the last new one? DON’T BE MAKIN’ US WAIT, KRISPY! After all, you and Mike are the “Coolest Guys” around the town! (Ahem. That… that was your cue to hit the play button. Just… just hit it, okay?!? Christ.)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=gVj25-8m7nI

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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