Guys! Normally I do a combo platter of recaps of The Walking Dead and Girls... because they're basically the same show. HOWEVER! Girls ended their season last week, and The Walking Dead's season finale isn't until next week! So naturally I'm going to recap this week's episode of Dead and an episode of Boy Meets World after the jump... because... UMM, YEAH. Let's get chitty chatting!
Here are my recaps of The Walking Dead's "This Sorrowful Life," and season two, episode seven of Boy Meets World, entitled "Wake Up, Little Cory."
1) Rick wakes up and decides, "Hey, I'm going to do something kind of freaky and out of character for me... now call me crazy, but wouldn't it be super awesome to give Michonne over to the Guv'nah—who will certainly torture her to death? Huh? Huh?" Farmer McDrunky, and Daryl are all like, "Oh, huh? Yeah, sure whatever, you're the boss. Can I chop lettuce instead of making fries today?" Racisty McRedneck agrees too, but of course he would, because he's Racisty McRedneck.
2) Meanwhile in Mr. Turner's class, the kids are BORED STIFF by their teacher's snoozy lecture on Shakespeare, so he instructs them to make a documentary on love and sex starring their family and friends... because OF COURSE. Mr. Feeney is justifiably dubious.
3) Whoops! Rick changes his mind. "What can I say? I'm the mercurial sort!" Unfortunately, Racisty decides to take the situation into his own hands, club Michonne over the noggin, and lead her on the loooooongest, most scenic road trip to Woodsbury ever. (Seriously, I thought this place was like two miles away from the prison!)
4) Meanwhile, back in the sex documentary editing room, Cory and Topanga decide to work late into the night to finish their sexy documentary project because they are good kids—even though they totally lied to their parents about where they were! (As we all know, Topanga is the gateway drug to heroin.) The pair work so hard that they fall asleep on the editing room floor and stay there all... night... long. Hijinx, prepare to ensue!
5) Glenn asks Maggie to marry him. Actually, he DOESN'T ask, he just gives her a ring he chopped off the hand of a zombie, and she assumes the best. THAT IS ONE FUCKED UP RELATIONSHIP.
6) It's a bright new morning at school, and what's this? The janitor and Mr. Feeney walk into the editing room to discover... GASP!! Both kids completely naked and Topanga riding Cory "reverse cowgirl-style"!! (Okay, fine, not really, that's just my fan fiction.) Naturally the other kids at the school hear about their impromptu sleep over and assume they're doing it reverse cowgirl-style. The boys are psyched and hold Cory in high regard, while poor Topanga gets slut shamed. BOOOOOOO SLUT SHAMING!!
7) Meanwhile back in the longest road trip ever, Michonne taps into the last bit of humanity Racisty has left, and he lets her go. AWWWW. Then he liquors up, and plays Pied Piper with the zombies, leading them to the Guv'nah's meeting place, where he picks off a few of the bad guys before finding himself on the business end of the Guv'nah's gun. See?? Even armless racists aren't all bad.
8) Meanwhile in Topanga's brain, she figures that as long as she's being called a slut, she and Cory should just go ahead and do it! AWWWWWESOME!!! Unfortunately, Cory's stupid morals get in the way again, and ruin the entire show for everyone. Topanga says, "I want my good name back!" Cory responds, "Some people would argue that Topanga's not the best name to begin with." SNAP!! Wicked hot retort, Cory. Hey, Topanga! Need some salve for that burn?
9) Meanwhile back at the prison, Rick's like, "Oh shit! Racisty totally carried out my plan—and I was just joking!" So Daryl quickly combs his hair to look like a member of Fall Out Boy and rushes off to save her—but discovers that the Guv'nah turned Racisty into Racisty McZOMBIE! Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!! (Okay, actually I think he got what he deserved. Guys! He was a super jerk! Don't be so easily manipulated!)
10) Back in class, Cory shows his documentary in which he admits he did NOT dry bone Topanga as he had led everyone to believe. Topanga is relieved that she doesn't have to have sex with Cory. Everyone's dreams are crushed. THE END.
11) WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THOSE TWO EPISODES? Leave your comments below, and stay tuned for next week's slam-bang season finale of The Walking Dead, which will hopefully not be as stupid as this one was.