A few days ago I was hosting an open mic and a very funny nice comedian said, “I don’t understand feminism. Do you feminists just want to BE men?” It’s not the first time I’ve heard feminism equated to butchness, yelling at men for opening doors for us, and growing out our Rapunzel-esque leg hair. Not that there’s anything wrong with not being traditionally feminine, but feminism is not about pretending to be manly; to me it is embracing being womanly and feeling empowered in all of its glorious Georgia O’Keefe floweriness. Because girls just wanna have fun. And why does toughness imply masculinity? Rubber is tough and I’m never like oh man my bike tires totally have a Y-chromosome.
I resent the idea that being a feminist means we’re pretending to be men. I am a feminist because I love women and I want women to feel good about themselves. And feeling good about myself does not mean being manly because my happiness does rely on possessing a penis. I’d have to buy new jeggings and learn how to urinate standing up. It would totally cut into my bathroom Vine watching time.
A few weeks ago, Vice Magazine founder Gavin McInnes said, “I think a lot of women smash through the ‘glass ceiling’… and they see their friends from their small town with 3 kids going to soccer practice and they think, ‘That looks kind of cool, actually.” But being a feminist doesn’t mean that we aren’t allowed to bear soccer player children. There are no overlords that will take athletically inclined offspring from us in the night. But that does sound like a cool plot to a young adult novel with a strong female lead!
Hilarious, clever, beautiful pioneer comedian Wendy Liebman said that her definition of feminism is: “Women helping other women.” And that’s really stuck with me. To me feminists are women who want women to feel empowered. We’re not flannel wearing, angry man haters, unless we want to be. As the amazing and insightful comedian Virginia Jones puts it, “Feminism means we can do whatever the fuck we want and we don’t have to do anything we don’t want to.”
I’m tough and I cry and laugh and am vulnerable and I wear dresses and whilst doing all those things I’m still a feminist. If feminism is the concept that women should feel good about themselves, how could that possibly be a negative thing? Maybe in bizarro world, which is a construct of the DC universe, and regardless of our stance on gender politics, we’re Marvel kids, amiright? Don’t be a dick. Tune in next week to shave my legs for me.
Butchness doesn’t necessarily equate to wanting to be a man, does it? Any butch women want to comment? (Full disclosure: my father’s name is Butch. I came THIS CLOSE to being Butch Jr.)
I say let them fall of their own weight.
http://with-care.wwdl.net
The derogatory usage of the term “dick”, as referring to the male penis, is highly offensive, sexist, and must be taken down immediately!!!
Re: “Women helping other women.”
Men can be feminists too!
Todd, you are correct. No women, butch or otherwise want to be men. As far as I know, the only women who want to be men are those who feel they were born in the wrong body.
This comedians’s question is just another example of men being threatened by something they don’t understand about women and his only logical conclusion is, “Of course women want to be men, because having a peen is awesome, who wouldn’t want to be a man?!?” I get that he was trying to tell a joke, but maybe he should talk to a feminist or do some reading if he really wants to educate himself on the subject.
Two of the “f” in “O’Keeffe”
I appreciate bell hooks’ notion of feminism as being a movement to end sexism and sexist thinking… because that makes room for men as well. After all, like hooks says, feminism is for everybody.
I appreciate bell hooks’ notion of feminism as being a movement to end sexism and sexist thinking… because that leaves room for men and allies that don’t identify as women. After all, like hooks says, feminism is for everybody.
Holy straw-man argument, Batman!
And like Maria up there said, this article is really, really, really limiting in the idea that feminism is only for women. Seriously, the amount of unintentional misandry is hilarious.
My favorite women whom I think of as strong, independent, and assertive are the ones who don’t carry feminism flags to wave at every possible moment, such as PJ Harvey, etc etc….
Maybe she meant that HER own practice of feminism equates to “women helping women,” since that is what SHE is doing, as opposed to hating men, being butch, and other stereotypes of what feminism means to WOMEN. She’s merely saying, “no guys, I don’t want to be a man, I just want to help women, myself included.”
In my eyes, feminism is about everyone valuing all sex, gender, and sexuality as equal. Any gender expression or personality characteristics deemed feminine or masculine according to the status quo are equal and allowable without censure too.
The feminist movement was very necessary and I’m glad it
evolved. It has encouraged women and made men aware
that being a women is just as cool as being a man. They
should’nt be categorized by their looks, weight, hairstyle
wardrobe or cosmetics, but for their character, wit, energy
and emotion just like men. Real hero’s in history were
Sojourner Truth, Jane Pittman, Susan B. Anthony, all the
sufferige advocates, Dorothy Day, Rosa Parks and the list
goes on, but they’re not really recognized as such.
Historians of the male persuasion have written about them
as though they were interesting, quirky but a little too out
there.
You’ve come a long way baby, and the road is still ahead.
I bet if we changed the name from “feminism” to “egalitarianism” a whole lot more men would be on board with it.
Just a thought.
Since, you know, if we had an ideological movement called “masculinism” whose stated aim is equality for everyone, that there’d probably be more than a few women who would be reluctant to adopt the label, even if they agreed with the aims and goals of the movement.
I’m not a feminist. I’m a humanitarian. And there are legit reasons not to like feminism. They seem very elite. They are overly concerned with women in traditional male power roles. Everything the Yahoo CEO does is wrong and publicized endlessly. They are overly concerned with stereotypes – princess costumes, pop tarts, fashion models, whatever – because they think these stereotypes will hold them down in their pursuit for power. Also, feminists will argue for women’s equality, superiority or inferiority as it suits their argument. The philosophy lacks integrity. Many people say they’re not a feminist, because they don’t know what a feminist is. Apart from that, I agree with the blogger.