Via Reddit, here is what seems to be an actual closet for rent on Craigslist for $360 per month.
Really small room, like really small (can fit a twin bed), is available for rent. Located near bars such as Club 21, Beulahland, Holmans, Sandy Hut, Matador, etc. and restaurants like Screen Door, Pix, Ate-oh-ate and more. From living here we can tell you that you can get pretty much anywhere in 15 minutes because of the central location. Our current roommate is moving out soon so it has to be by April 1 is First and Last month. Rent is $360, all utilities and internet are included.
Now honestly, I’ve been out of the renting game for awhile, so I have some questions if that’s okay.
1) Isn’t $360 per month kind of expensive for what’s basically a small bowling alley lane?
2) It looks like it has room for my bass guitar… but there’s already a bass guitar there? Do I also have to store the owner’s bass guitar? If so, I’d like to charge them a bass guitar storage fee of $75 per month. I know that sounds expensive, but… HOUSING CRISIS.
3) “Flammable Gas.” Having a very small room that comes with flammable gas isn’t a deal breaker for me, but is that also included in utilities? If not, I’m going to have to knock another $100 off the rent.
4) I like that Clockwork Orange poster. However, unless it’s signed by Malcolm McDowell, I’m going to have to deduct $25 from my monthly rent.
5) I’m not really what you’d call a “baseball hat/flannel shirt guy”? $20 off the rent.
6) Later on in the listing, the people say they’re looking for someone who is okay with dogs, because “there is an old pug living there.” I have questions about that.
6a) HOW MUCH IS THE OLD PUG PAYING IN RENT?
6b) Would I be sharing this room with the old pug? If that’s his bass guitar—then that’s okay. Otherwise, $20 more off the rent.
6c) I hear old pugs wheeze a lot and need to have their “wrinkle folds” cleaned with a Q-tip on a regular basis. That sounds like a lot of work! But I’ll only charge the owners $140 per month.
Okay, I think that’s all my questions. At this point, and according to my math, the monthly rent on this closet will now be $0, and the owners will only owe me $20 per month—which may sound unreasonable, but hey. THESE ARE THE TIMES IN WHICH WE LIVE. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
UPDATE! Just as I was finishing this post, the listing was taken down. DAMN IT, I MOVED TOO SLOW!!
I have questions too:
Question 1: what is