Kalah Allen
Where Have All the Ax Men Gone?

What happened to guitar players? Talented guitar players who actually display their craft, rather than toy around on one note, hitting every effects pedal and turning every knob? I have tried to stay open-minded; I have tried to listen and appreciate. Really, I have tried. But I can take no more. These guys play two chords, sing some stuff over it, and call it a song. Call it "modern rock," call it "indie rock," but I call it garbage. I recently saw one of these bands, and I wasted $18. Even the crowd was lame, probably because the music lacked any real, raw energy. I find it hard to accept guys who don't display guitar-playing ability as rock bands. Their songs are a few chords at best. What is that? Gyrating on stage, playing one note on your guitar and using a bunch of effects is not guitar playing. Mike McCready plays guitar. Josh Homme plays guitar. JIMMY FUCKING PAGE plays guitar. Take a look at some actual guitar players. They don't stand there playing a few chords and making funny noises. Maybe I'm the only one who isn't into this whole modern rock thing. I sure hope not. --Anonymous