Should I Sue?

In this contentious age of litigation, it has become increasingly difficult to judge when one should take one' s concerns to court. Have you been libeled? Emotionally damaged? Financially disrupted? Who hasn't? But do you deserve money for it? Take this simple true/false quiz and find out! Good luck!

T F I am/have been an altar boy.
T F Someone shot me for no reason in downtown Portland.
T F I smoke cigarettes and can't shake this nasty cough.
T F I saw one of my signature designs on a Calvin Klein runway at Fashion Week.
T F The other kids made fun of me in elementary school.
T F Someone is selling all my personal artifacts on ebay.
T F I was robbed of my election to the Presidency of the United States.
T F I was robbed of my election to the Presidency of the Screen Actors Guild.
T F I live in Palestine.
T F I live in Israel.
T F I am a foreign detainee living in an INS holding cell.
T F I live in Battery Park, and that damn Tribute in Light keeps me up at night.
T F I'm Ted Koppel.
T F I have been slandered in the Portland Mercury.
T F I once got a papercut from the Portland Mercury.
T F I'm almost certain that Doris Kearns Goodwin plagiarized my fifth grade paper on the American executive branch.
T F I need the money.

If you answered "true" to ten or more of the above, congratulations! You should sue! Call up a lawyer STAT and take the bastards for all they're worth! Litigious folk get along well with lawyers and Californians. They are often disliked by judges and corporate CEOs. They are especially disliked by doctors. If you sue, you will most likely become very rich... then quickly divorce and die.