37 Gourmand Martini Garnishes 

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WHAT PORTLANDER hasn't been appalled to find a dingy, run-of-the-mill olive floating in their briny martini like some sort of homeless fellow who bathes in the Jamison Square fountain when he thinks we aren't all at our windows gazing at the lovely multi-hued sun setting on our city's well-heeled Pearl District denizens as they trek into the evening for fresh artisanals? It's enough to get your Kiki de Montparnasses in a twist. While we can't seem to get rid of Ringworm Pete, we can do something about that drab olive with these trendy and affordable new cocktail garnishes:

1. Meyer lemon twist

2. Pickled caper berries

3. Caramel salted caviar yolks

4. Seven tentacles from a virginal Dumbo Octopus caught at 6,000 meters below sea level, de-veined and skewered on a fresh sprig of West Virginia-cooked rosemary

5. A blind orphan's previously functioning retinal sac, wrung through the zester, served up

6. Chocktaw talking stick breaded with Unobtainium-flecked panko and Leprechaun tears

7. One bar of gold

Continued Here

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