Disaster Movie 

Knowing: Whoa! The Fuck!?

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I am so tempted to recommend Knowing. I can't do it—because it's really terrible—but god, how I want to.

Knowing is the sort of bad movie that just fucking goes for it. Sometime in the third act, there's a moment I can only describe as "transcendent"—one that just kicks the whole thing into a whole other zone of bad. It is amazing to behold—for the audience, sure, but also for star Nicolas Cage, who literally falls to his knees in shock. That's how bad/amazing Knowing is: I never want to see it again, and I kind of love it.

Cage plays a MIT astrophysicist (okay!) whose stupid, annoying son finds a piece of paper with a bunch of numbers on it. Professor Cage realizes that the numbers prophesy every disaster of the past five decades (OMG!), and there are more catastrophes coming! So Cage teams up with some chick (Rose Byrne), who also has a stupid, annoying kid, and they all freak out, and there are also some vaguely pedophilic strangers who follow around the stupid, annoying kids, and there are also two weirdly graphic, 9/11-y disasters, and also, there is a bear and a moose and some deer! On fire! About halfway through, Cage stops acting and starts shouting, and then the thing happens, the big twist, which I will not give away here, because it is glorious.

The weird thing is, if Knowing was an old Twilight Zone episode, it could have been cool. But Dark City and I, Robot director Alex Proyas is no Rod Serling, and Knowing's script is so fucking stupid that all I wrote in my notes about it was "SO FUCKING STUPID." But, perversely, I kind of respect that: Knowing is the sort of stupid that goes all the way. For its WTF final half-hour, Knowing stops being a dull, dreary thriller and becomes... god, I don't even know. Sitting in the theater, watching it unfold, I felt like Cage—as if I were on my knees, gazing at the heavens, my mouth open in shock, my eyes open wide in euphoric disbelief.

Knowing
Rated PG-13 · 122 min. · 2009
Official Site: www.knowing-themovie.com
Director: Alex Proyas
Writer: Ryne Person, Richard Kelly, Juliet Snowden, Stiles White, Stuart Hazeldine and Alex Proyas
Producer: Todd Black, Jason Blumenthal, Steve Tisch and Alex Proyas
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Rose Byrne, Chandler Canterbury, Ben Mendelsohn, Adrienne Pickering, Tamara Donnellan, Brett Robson and Jayson Sutcliffe

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