LOOK, I SHOULDN'T even be showing you this column, because I'm pretty sure I'm breaking hella frigging non-disclosure agreements, but you're special to me and I like that you're out there living your own life and taking chances on shoes you wouldn't normally buy—but look at you, pulling them off. I shouldn't share this with you, but I'm gonna: I went to Banksy's new pop-up art installation, Dismaland, a demented theme park, and honestly, I was blown away. I remain blown away. Like... I was just blown away. I mean... I was blown away. I can't even, like... I was blown away, you guys.
It was truly a scathing takedown of capitalism and celebrity culture and politics, and I thought I'd list some of my favorite pieces from the exhibit:
- A painting of underage sweatshop workers making endless pairs of pants for Donald Duck—but Donald Duck refuses to wear them.
- A child's Disney Princesses autograph book, where the first few pages are actual Disney characters, but then it's just 2,000 pages of prisoners from Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay.
- A Mickey Mouse statue, but get this... it's frowning. At capitalism.
- Gaston and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast make out behind Belle, who's sitting on a bench with her head buried in a book. That book is The 9/11 Commission Report. All of this is spray-painted on the tank of a British Petroleum gas truck.
- The "It's a Small World" ride from Disneyland. Just like, straight up. No changes. They just totally copied the "Small World" ride.
- Two performance artists: one of them is dressed like Ariel from The Little Mermaid, and the other is waterboarding Ariel.
- There are waiters walking around with trays of sliders. They'll insist you eat one of the sliders, and as soon as you do, they yell, "THAT WAS BAMBI'S MOM." Then they take a Polaroid of you.
- There's a theater showing a video of Palestinian civilians being bombed, soundtracked by "Hakuna Matata" from The Lion King.
- Just off the coast, there's a reproduction of the steamboat from Steamboat Willie, but it's sinking, and it's spilling oil everywhere. Ursula the Sea Witch is using the oil to paint the word "Feminist" on King Triton's naked chest.
- Frozen bananas. This wasn't an art piece, they just had great frozen bananas.