Brian Sendlebach
by Manu Berelli

While visiting my brother in New York a couple of weeks ago, he took me to a party. I got blitzed, made fun of a couple hipsters, and then made out with three girls. It was fun, but not the kind of anecdote you want in an article or anything.

When we were leaving the party, my brother said something about my kissing escapades: "Making out is great," he said. "It's fun, virtually disease-free, and it's sexual, but with very little repercussions." Amen, brother.

However, throwing a "Make Out" party can be difficult. It's hard to get a bunch of strangers--or even friends--to get wet and sloppy with each other. On the other hand, people are conditioned animals who are willing to react to anyone who pushes the right buttons.

So, push the right buttons. Follow the same rules for throwing a regular party, but tailor it to "making out."

Invitations: Invite the most beautiful people you can. And don't forget your pretty, platonic friends too. You might think this will make you look bad in comparison--but it actually works in your favor. Your pretty friends will get the tonsil lashing started, and once people are primed, your turn will come.

Drinks: Most likely, even the most liberated of your guests are going to need lubrication before wanting to tongue wrestle. Drink cheap beer if you must, but there are better options. Go down to the liquor store and pick up some goddamn vodka. And a ton of mixers. Because beer is fine, but liquor is quicker. And it doesn't make your breath smell like stale bread. And a vodka gimlet is just plain sexy.

Food: Unless your entire guest list is made up of Lebanese and vegans, don't fucking serve hummus. Stay away from foods that have a lot of seeds or particles that can get stuck in the teeth. Don't worry that your guests will be put off by bland food--that should be the last thing they remember about your party.

Music: This may be one of your most important decisions. If possible, get your DJ roommate to spin your party. I know he's a pain in the ass and complains that "no girls are going to kiss him anyway," but that's all the more reason he's better off with something to do. Start out subtle--don't spin the Italian Porn soundtrack in the first 10 minutes. Get a feel for the party. Make sure people are having a good time. Then put on the soul.

Lighting: Less is more.

Privacy: It may help you to have a designated closet or somewhere a couple can go and neck. If all goes well, people will find bathrooms, backyards, and hallways to do their dirty work. Dumpsters work well, too.