Illustration by Kalah Allen

Okay, Conscientious Commuter, I get it: You hate my big pickup truck. This is why you glower and squirm and throw up your hands in outrage when you can't fit your Prius in between my behemoth Ford and the parked cars lining the street. But in the interest of fostering understanding between your kind and mine, Virtuous Traveler, allow me to explain my mammoth automobile. Notice that "F" on the license plate? That means it's a farm vehicle. I hope you can understand, Saint of the Roadways, that some of us do work that requires large vehicles. I see the bin on your bike with a sticker reading, "Another truck off the road." With such a contraption, by the New Year I might be able to accomplish the same amount of work I did yesterday in my truck. So, Righteous Wayfarer, please stop scowling, shaking your head, and giving me the "Fuck You" salute. You get to ride in tiny cars and on bicycles because other people use big trucks to deliver goods and produce to your neighborhood. Accept it, and let me by.—Anonymous