Attention Portland Restaurants: My friends and I are fine with waiting 45 minutes to an hour to eat brunch, but what we are not fine with is shitty tofu scramble. The last couple experiences I have had at a number of different popular brunch establishments have resulted in bland tasting and unappetizing looking tofu scrambles. A plate of white unseasoned slop is ridiculous. If it doesn't taste good to the person cooking it, guess what—it also tastes like crap to the rest of us. Fuck you very much as well for charging me $10 for that white Jell-o mold, I really appreciate walking out of your establishment feeling like I've been duped. I'm not sure why tofu is so hard for people to get right, but if you can't figure it out on your own, go on the internet, look up a recipe, and learn how to season your food. Portland restaurants, I challenge you to make a deliciously seasoned and textured tofu scramble. Please hear our cries.—Anonymous
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