THE JAWS OF DEATH

THREAT OF A RECALL is but one jaw of a four-fold vise slowly closing on Slam Adams ["Sam Adams Kickout Campaign Event," Blogtown, May 14]. One jaw is John Kroger, of course. Another is Mike Schrunk, who must at least avoid the appearance of politics as being above the law with respect to the Slam's monster bash at Car Toys. The final jaw is alienation of the gay and the greenie vote—call this one the Thomas Lauderdale effect.

Before long, Kroger and Schrunk (real genius, getting both the AG and the DA on one's case) will hold a lovely formal press conference announcing that Adams has agreed to resign in consideration of facing lesser charges. These guys are lawyers, and lawyers will figure out how to cut a deal. Give it a few more weeks.

Jim Lee on portlandmercury.com

STOP RIDICULING RIDICULOUS BELIEFS!

PEREZ HILTON COULD HAVE SAID, "I disagree, but I'd like to sit down with you and talk about what it is you feel you're protecting, and maybe I can show you gay marriage is not a threat." [One Day at a Time, May 14, regarding Miss California's anti-same sex marriage stance.] Instead, he and dipshits like you [Ann Romano] have fueled every anti-gay stereotype out there to the nth degree. Do you realize Fox may give this woman her own show now? That's your victory? How fucking stupid are you people? Why do you think liberals spent so many years in the wilderness and we had to suffer under Bushie so long? Because fuckin' idiots like you don't know how to persuade people—you just ridicule their deeply held beliefs and faiths. Meanwhile, gays suffer because you dumb fucks never grow up. Watch how this will snowball into a total rejection of the gay marriage movement by straights who may have been won over. Now they'll be afraid you represent the vanguard of censorship and religious persecution. You dumb, dumb, dumb fucks.

Mr. Freedom on portlandmercury.com

THE APPLEBEE'S EFFECT

MEMORIAL COLISEUM'S SITE is an excellent spot for the baseball stadium that will not drain urban renewal dollars for Lents ["Jet Propelled," News, May 14]. However, the Cordish design is a TERRIBLE idea. I was at the one in Louisville, Kentucky, last August and it would not work in Portland by any stretch of the imagination. The power-sucking, Applebee's-friendly abomination would hurt surrounding local businesses and eventually be nothing but a haven for too-drunk douchebags. Think Bridgeport Village-turned-nightlife.

bellamoses on portlandmercury.com

STOP BASTARDIZING MY FUNNY BOOKS!

DEAR ALL-CONSUMING MASS OF MORONS: For the past couple of years, the movie market has been ruled by fanboy material, however any fanboy will tell what a disgrace these movies are [Letters, May 7, in which two fanboys disagree with Erik Henriksen's scathing review of X-Men Origins: Wolverine]. Case in point: Wolverine. It is actually based on a series of graphic novels, which feature a single character and presents him with an interesting psychological profile. This movie should have been more intellectual or shown us a new side of Wolverine, at least. I agree with Henriksen. These movies are cookie cutter hunks of the source material and it is mindless consumer whores like you people that allow Hollywood to bastardize the comics that we grew up loving.

Jessica

CONGRATULATIONS TO JESSICA for (a) correctly acknowledging that even ridiculous movies about funny books must be held to high standards, and (b) winning the Mercury letter of the week. Jessica will receive two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish! where you should run for your life if you hear the sounds, "Snikt! Snikt!"