Illustration by Kalah Allen

SHAKEN & STIRRED

RE: "Foul-Weather Friends" [Lush Life, Oct 29], a roundup of seasonally appropriate cocktail recommendations.

DEAR MERCURY—I'm not sure if Thomas Ross knows what he's talking about. He should have mentioned that the original Stone Fence was made with rum, not rye, and an Old Fashioned (yes, it's capitalized) is not an Old Fashioned unless it's made with whiskey, so while one with aquavit may be a variation, it certainly does not deserve the name of one of America's great cocktails.

Lukas Sherman


AN ACT OF DOGS

RE: "The Joy of HUMP!" [Feature, Nov 5], a preview of the films at this year's HUMP! amateur porn festival, screening at Cinema 21, November 12-16. Get excited! (Maybe not this excited.)

SALUTATIONS! IT DISAPPOINTS TO MAKE SUCH A PRESENTATION TO AN ESTABLISHMENT OF NORMALLY HIGH ACCOLADES. THIS KIND OF SLUTTY DEBAUCHERY, REFERRING TO HUMP (AN ACT OF DOGS), IS WHY YOU'RE GOING TO BURN IN A REPUBLICAN-RUN DYSTOPIA. PORN IS CONSIDERED CONTRABAND AND FORBIDDEN OUTSIDE THE REALMS OF HEAVEN, HELL, OR MY APARTMENT, AS DELINEATED IN ARTICLE 5, SECTION G, PREAMBLE 48.3 OF "THE PROCLAMATION OF HUMAN DIVINITY DISCLOSURE TO THE PUBLIC." JOIN OUR MILITIA OF STRONG MEN AND/OR HAREM OF LOVELY BEAUTIES SO THAT WE MAY GO FORTH, MULTIPLY, AND DIVIDE THE WORLD!!!!!

DR. PORKEE D. "PROFIT" GUTIERREZ-STEINBORG, XIIII, PH.D., OB-GYN, ESQ.


THE HUMAN UNDERNEATH

RE: "#Empathy" [Everything as Fuck, Nov 5], in which columnist Ian Karmel comments on the conversation around men's rights protesters and Gamergate.

I agree strongly with feminism in general, but I do worry that the message gets lost sometimes in the tone. Even "Matt Lone Woof" [who protested the all-women comedy festival All Jane No Dick] came off as kind of pitiable because he sounded like he did not want to be anti-woman, but he didn't understand what it was he was protesting. It's completely fair to be mad at a "Matt Lone Woof" because ultimately he is serving to derail equality, but there is a difference between being blind to your privilege and outright misogyny, and sometimes that has to be recognized in order to instigate change. I will say that even when Gamergate started back in August, it seemed horrendously overbearing because it targeted one female game developer with a rather under-the-radar game whose overall exposure was fairly limited, and she received violent and sexual threats. Now, in November, what exactly is Gamergate about? What is the fight for at this point, aside from attempting to deflect criticism away from the "movement"?

posted by Aestro


GLOATING

RE: "The Green Light" [News, Nov 5], an overview of election results, including the failure of a measure that would mandate the labeling of GMO food items.

I love the fact that the anti-science community not only lost, but that they simply can't handle the fact that their friends and family and neighbors are to blame (me!) and not three local newspapers. This sort of unwillingness to face the facts is the same tendency that got you all frothy over nothing in the first place. And thank you for sharing your tears with us in the comment sections. Your tears add to the sweetness of victory.

posted by science won, paranoia lost.


DIVISIONS

RE: "What Didn't Happen to Division Street" [I, Anonymous, Nov 5], in which an anonymous author applauds the porn theater that remains on a rapidly fancied-up stretch of SE Division.

This was the case, too, when Satyricon was the last holdout on NW 5th, but it eventually disappeared. I do miss the old Satyricon, and I also miss the malty beer-cooking smell that was part of the downtown experience.... That old gherkin-jerkin' theater will get pushed out eventually, it's just a matter of time. But it is funny to think about how much it pisses off the bleached and pressed yuppie gentrifiers. I'm sure the owner is just waiting for the property value to max out before he sells it.

posted by Justin Beasley

AH, THE MALTY beer-cooking smell of a bygone era. Take two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater as the author of the Mercury letter of the week, where at least you can drink the product of that particular scent.