DEAR MERCURY—Ann Romano can't find inspiration for writing unless it's to bash celebrities ["One Day at a Time," weekly]. How 'bout redirecting some of that female bashing and negativity toward something productive? Charlie Sheen may have this to say about his constant appearance in columns all over news sources: "Two wars are in an endless state of sorrow. Egypt about burned to the ground, and all you people care about is my bulls**t... [It's] pathetic... Shame, shame, shame." But we have good ol' Ann to keep us well posted and up to date about the "real" issues facing us all.
At what skate park did you find [Food Editor] Tony Perez? Please tell me that he volunteers his <ahem> contributions so I don't have to fathom how someone so obviously unqualified to write a food column actually gets paid for doing just that.
-Bring Back PAC
Get some cybernetic implants. THEN you can call yourself a cyborg ["I, Cyborg," Feature, Feb 24]. Until then, find another term, because using a computer or a smartphone doesn't make one a cyborg.
-posted by Forever Alone
"Here's Portland, here are the quadrants," drawing a diagram on the board, "and when your phone gets in one of these quadrants you should get a text, like, 'You're in Southeast Portland,' or 'You're in Northeast Portland,'" Yeah, totally. Or you could just look up at the fucking street sign that tells you that. All manhole covers should be removed from the streets for a week so the twitterpated who never look up from their fetish objects can be thinned from the herd.
-posted by styrofoamcup
I pray my iPhone never whispers to me, "Come with me if you want to live."
-posted by Fruit Cup
Omigod! Tina Kotek, Jackie Dingfelder: Why close innocent venues and deny people freedom of association because of the misdeeds of a few ["Drunk and Disorderly," News, Feb 24]? If people are stealing, assaulting, and fighting in the bar, and dealing crack in the can, then arrest the malefactors and charge the thieves with theft, the assailants with assault and battery, the fighters with disturbing the peace and the crack dealers with cracker-jackery. Address them directly. Don't give the cops a free hand to deny people their lawful pleasures.
-posted by TimB
A comment on the Vestas question ["Altered State of the City," News, Feb 24]. The state of Portland schools has nothing to do with how many jobs [Vestas] has filled. They are not really hiring anyone other than management and for high-end tech positions. So unless they start really adding to their Portland workforce with entry-level positions like customer service we really didn't get much bang for the buck other than bragging rights.
-posted by AndyC
Nicolas Cage is like my cousin in Wisconsin ["DRVAGRY," Film, Feb 24]. Started out going to med school, smart, totally nice guy, but "something happened" and he ended up screaming obscenities through his beard at old people in downtown Milwaukee. Of course, nobody pays him millions of dollars to do it, so there is that difference.
-posted by Ron PDX
SORRY TO HEAR about your cousin's troubles, Ron, but while we can't pay him or you millions of dollars, we will totally hook you up with two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where screaming at old people is discouraged, but not out of the question.