HERE SOMETHING every new monster want to know: What am best weed in Portland? Here am best weed in Portland.
Kali Mist
Gräs Cannabis, 621 SE 7th
Perfect for when Monster want to get monster chores done (like wash fur and go to blood bank). Only bad thing about Kali Mist? It give Monster dry-fang.
Sour Diesel
Portland Canna Connection, 1515 SE 46th
Me pick up pre-roll of Sour Diesel for just $10. It hit kind of harsh and Monster cough and cough and woke up roommate: Werewolf. Werewolf and Monster smoke joint while watching How to Get Away with Murder (Viola Davis Monster's favorite) and come down after hour or two. There no cloudy hangover, which nice because Monster had to go to Monster's day job working in shitty warehouse.
Jesus OG
Portland Canna Connection
Sativa-dominants are Monster's favorite! It leave Monster feeling creative and free to follow monster instincts. Today, Monster smoke two bowls of Jesus OG and redecorate apartment—bones and blood are so hot this season.
Girl Scout Cookies
Blue Sky of Portland, 729 SE Powell
Monster don't like cookies. Monster not THAT kind of monster.
Cinex
Portland Canna Connection
Monster love Cinex. One night Monster got mega high on Cinex. Monster crawl under bed of nine-year-old boy and just about to scare boy and traumatize him forever, but... good news, bad news. Bad news: Monster started giggling uncontrollably! Good news: Boy traumatized anyway!
More Welcome to Portland, Monster! articles:
Welcome to Portland, Monsters!
How to Apologize for Being a Monster
No-Cause Evictions Affect Monster Population
Portland's Most Haunted New Developments
Monster's Pot Review (for Monsters)
A Short History of Portland's Most Famous Monsters
Portland's Most Overrated Cemeteries
Stop Riding the Bus Wrong, Monsters!
The Top 11 Places Where Monsters Meet Other Monsters
