Artwork by Vinnie Neuberg

THERE IS A NEW 2 Chainz (the artist formerly known as Tity Boi) video going around. It's from season two of the GQ webseries Most Expensivest Shit, hosted by Mr. Chainz, in which he delves into the refined world of shit that is the most expensivest.

In this particular episode, he smokes a joint rolled with Shine papers: 24-karat "edible gold" papers that run $20 for a package of two. (That's great if you want to eat the roach, which I wouldn't recommend.) He rolls it with cannabis that we are told retails for $100 an eighth, making it $800 an ounce—otherwise known as paying far too fucking much. The quality is never mentioned. Just the price. Because the title of the series isn't Most Bestest Shit.

2 Chainz also smokes "the world's largest pipe," which holds an entire ounce. He and his buddy "Dr. Dina" (the inspiration for Nancy Botwin of Weeds, but not a real doctor, so...) then toke from the yard-long pipe, which they light with a small blowtorch.

I actually think Chainz is a smart, on-point cat when it comes to discussing legalization issues, but this is all a shamefully stupid waste of cash. If you want to experience platinum levels of cannabis use, you can do so with a much lower price tag. Let me show you how.

Start with a Firefly vaporizer ($269.95). In my experience, this is the most flavorful and stylish handheld. It produces full convection vaporization, and goes from zero to 400 degrees in the press of a button. Users can vary the temperature and thickness of the vapor by changing their inhale speed and strength. It handles flower as well as concentrates, using a disposable pad insert that fits snugly into the bowl. Its solid weight and size fits into the hand well, and it reminds me of a small cell phone from the early '00s.

I've enjoyed all types of flower in a Firefly, but for a "caviar" high worthy of Mr. Chainz, I turned to my dispensary-owning friend D. I often seek counsel from D on the newest products and experiences, and he provided me a sample of something not yet on the shelf: Elephant Extracts' Tangerine Solvent-Free Sap, tested at an eye-popping 93.22 percent THC.

I applied the sap to the pad in the Firefly and inhaled. My first thought was that someone had poured fresh orange juice into the bowl. That was followed by the realization that I was not coughing and hacking like a coal miner three days away from retirement. For me, that's fairly rare with concentrates.

To be certain I was rolling like someone with more than a single chain, I added some kief (crystals of THC that looked like crushed-up diamonds minus the blood). There weren't any cameras, faux doctors, or nightmarishly overpriced ounces of herb involved, but it felt about as highfalutin as it gets. Give it a try sometime, and have a happy April 20, y'all.