THURSDAY, JANUARY 8

After canceling his September performance in Portland, Neil Diamond is back and ready to blow us out of our seats! Fine, maybe he won't "blow us," but I bet he'll come to the stage locked and loaded with hits such as "Cherry, Cherry," "Sweet Caroline," and "I'm a Believer." And does anybody remember "Heartlight"? I do! WSH

Rose Garden, 1 Center Court, 8 pm, $55-120, all ages

Portlander Jon Raymond wrote the short stories on which the films Old Joy and the recent Michelle Williams vehicle Wendy and Lucy are based. The stories in his collection Livability are, like those films, understated and captivating, full of quiet insights. Forget Chuck Palahniuk-Raymond is the local author you should be reading. AH

Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE

E*Rock wears many hats, and tonight sees an opening of his drawings as part of Universal Blobhand, and he'll switch into music mode at the after-party. Double dip! MS

Art opening at Stumptown, 128 SW 3rd, 6 pm, FREE; after-party at Valentine's, 232 SW Ankeny, 9:30 pm, FREE

FRIDAY, JANUARY 9

If People magazine goes out of business, no problem. Same goes for Rolling Stone. But magazines like Bitch-the intensely readable feminist quarterly-need to stick around, so show 'em some monetary support by attending this wildly eclectic show featuring Kimya Dawson (Juno soundtrack!), Mirah (K Records!), and Anomie Belle (Seattle electronica!). WSH

Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $18-22, all ages

Dwarves are back in town, with Suicide Girls dripping off every arm, and a catalog of punk rock stretching out behind them to the mid-'80s. It ain't pretty, but this is living history, my friends. MS

w/Zeke, Blackout Radio, LSD&D; Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $15-18

The Northwest Film Center's annual celebration of all things musical and cinematic, the Reel Music festival this year includes films about Patti Smith (Patti Smith: Dream of Life), the Gits (The Gits), and legendary jazz label Blue Note (Blue Note: A Story of Modern Jazz), as well as stuff like tonight's kickoff films, the Bob Marley portrait Bob Marley: Exodus '77 and Anvil!: The Story of Anvil, a look at the Canadian "demigods of death metal." EH

Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park, click here for showtimes, $7-8

SATURDAY, JANUARY 10

It's locals only at the Doug Fir tonight, with hometown heroes Quasi leading the charge, accompanied by the excellent Eat Skull and the charming the Golden Bears. Come appreciate the beauty of your city's natural resources. MS

Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $13

The 1973 French/Czech animated Fantastic Planet surreally tells the story of a race of blue giants and their human-like captives. There's political allegory aplenty, but the movie's breathtakingly bizarre visuals and progressive rock score will mesmerize you. You've never seen a cartoon like it. NL

Fifth Avenue Cinema, 510 SW Hall, Fri Jan 9 & Sat Jan 10 at 7 & 9:30 pm, Sun Jan 11 at 3 pm, $3

On their own, Sleep and Josh Martinez hold down the roles of two of Portland's finest emcees, but together they form the mighty duo Chicharones. With a new record set for release, and a DJ who rocks a frightening pig mask behind the decks, get ready for a night you might never forget.

w/Braille, Raise the Bridges, Nightcrawlers, Jon the Baptist, Erd; Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 10 pm, $8-10

SUNDAY, JANUARY 11

Today is the final day of the RiverCity Bluegrass Festival, and the legendary Ralph Stanley closes out the weekend with a set this afternoon. You've heard his well-worn singing in Brother, Where Art Thou?, but Stanley has been pickin' and singin' for over half a century, and you can hear every mile in his haunted, haunting voice. NL

Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE MLK, Fri Jan 9, 5-10 pm, Sat Jan 10, 10:30 am-11:45 pm, Sun Jan 11, 11 am-4:30 pm, $36.50 & up (weekend pass $132), all ages

Musee Mecanique & Co. originally teamed up for this benefit concert for local musician Kele Goodwin whose unexpected hospital bills were financially daunting. But due to a good turn of fortune Goodwin's medical bills are no longer looming. Instead join this stellar lineup as they raise funds for uninsured peeps and MusiCares, an organization that provides financial assistance for musicians in dire straits. CF

w/Sabertooth, Heather Broderick, Ritchie Young; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $10-15

Faythe Levine logged some miles (19,000, to be exact!) during the course of writing Handmade Nation: The Rise of DIY, Art, Craft, and Design, which chronicles the punk culture and DIY community aesthetics. Joined by contributing writer Susan Beal, featured artist Jill Bliss, and book illustrator Kate Bingaman-Burt, there's bound to be enough glue-stick fumes at this reading to get even the most veteran crafter high as a kite. CF

Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE

MONDAY, JANUARY 12

Junot Díaz called Jayne Anne Phillips' Lark and Termite the best novel he's read all year. And since Junot Díaz wrote the best novel I read last year (The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao), I am prepared to accept Díaz's assessment of Phillips' work, which takes place in Korea and West Virginia during the Korean War. AH

Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE

The elastic spacey rock of Glasvegas fills the Doug Fir tonight with a big echoey sound. You are sure to indulge in a fair amount of swaying with dreamy half-closed eyes. PAC

w/Carl Barat; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $15

TUESDAY, JANUARY 13

I'll fight you if you disagree with the following statement: Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim are on the forefront of the modern absurdist comedy movement, and you are certainly a jerk if you miss their live performance of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, which (much like the hilarious TV show) features skits, videos, musical numbers, and laffs, laffs, laffs! WSH

w/DJ Douggpound; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $25, all ages

Part of the Hieroglyphics collective, Souls of Mischief hasn't released an album in nearly nine years, but at long last they're dropping Montezuma's Revenge later this year. Their soulful grooves and expert narratives are up close and personal tonight as part of the Ice Cold Tour. NL

w/Bukue One, Alphabet Stew, Serendipity Project; Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $11-13, all ages

The only dilemma you might have about going to see the author of the amazing in-depth rumination on sustenance, The Omnivore's Dilemma, is whether or not to pony up the dough for the tickets. PAC

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 7:30 pm, $12-28

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 14

Tired of music being so damn two-dimensional? SIX ("Portland's only multi-channel performance environment event") is here to fix that with an evening of three-dimensional music and performances. A vast array of bands perform material tailor-made for the event, plus DJ Brokenwindow utilizes a specialized tri-turntable, six-channel setup. 3D glasses not required. EAC

w/Strategy, Grouper, cloudburst, & more; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $6

Tonight at the Reel Music film fest, you've got two choices: a look at dub mastermind Lee "Scratch" Perry with The Upsetter: The Life & Music of Lee "Scratch" Perry, or the batshit-crazy Christmas on Mars, a seven-years-in-the-making sci-fi epic featuring an original soundtrack by the Flaming Lips and starring Lips' frontman Wayne Coyne as "a compassionate alien superbeing." EH

Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park, The Upsetter at 7 pm, Christmas on Mars at 9 pm, $7-8

Wrap your arms around the '60s-inspired frenzied teen pop of the Hugs, Portland's favorite export to the UK. Their melodic, catchy tunes are gracing an album later this year, and they've already captured the ears of British audiences; it's only a while before they capture yours. NL

w/Black Pussy, Locke 'n' Load; Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $5