HUMP!—the Mercury's annual amateur porn festival, featuring hilariously sexy and hot five-minute videos made by dirty birds just like YOU—is upon us! It all goes down November 12-16 at Cinema 21... but rest assured, every one of these screenings WILL SELL OUT (because they always do!). For a full schedule of showings and to buy tickets, go to portlandmercury.com/hump. And to wet your whistle, here's a list of the films that'll be playing this year. Come celebrate HUMP!'s 10-year anniversary! A decade of amateur porn! MADE BY YOU!
THE FILMS OF HUMP! 2014!
NO ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS: Tattooed lady has dinner party and serves too much wine, causing non-tattooed guy to spend night on couch—only to be awakened with black coffee and a dizzying amount of hot hetero sex!
GARDEN PARTY: A wee widdle penis-rabbit, a wee widdle penis-bear, and a wee widdle penis-snake attend a garden party!
HUMPARAOKE: Attractive people sing karaoke and somehow end up in a big, naked shower orgy—lip synching into a Hitachi Magic Wand!
TARNISH: An adventurous lesbian couple keeps their relationship exciting with a new (and novel!) roleplaying scenario!
I AM 12 AND WHAT IS THIS?: Finding your parents' porn stash can blow your brain to bits!
A DAY IN THE WIFE: These two are barely speaking to each other—but they're doing each other in all sorts of crazy ways in their imaginations!
THE WORLD'S BEST HAND JOB: A pair of pretty manicured lady hands (called "The Twins"), face the challenge of a lifetime—battling one of the softest cocks ever to hit a big screen!
THE FIRST TIME: A beautiful Technicolor lesson in cosmic lovemaking! Complete with pizza!
SUNDAY: Hey, heteros—there's really nothing better to do after a trip to the Sunday farmers' market than make sweet, sweet love... for hours, in tasteful black-and-white!
TUESDAY: Hey, gay boys—there's really nothing better to do on a boring Tuesday night than turn your butthole into a real live clown car!
THE SOUND OF PORN MUSIC: A porny sing-along with some kinky nuns! A thousand times gayer than the original musical!
JUST FUCKING: Three extremely attractive men just fuck! In arty black-and-white!
A MATCH MADE IN APP HEAVEN: Two young and horny strangers beta test a new smartphone app!
RUBE: A book called Rube—plus a handful of LUBE—triggers a chain reaction you won't believe!
THE GLORY HOLE: Grab a Kleenex, 'cause this real love story from San Francisco will bring a big gay tear to your eye!
FIRE ESCAPE: Two women have hot sex on the fire escape of an apartment building—in TASTEFUL BLACK-AND-WHITE!
THE CALLER, PART II: Why order a pizza when you can call a sex worker?
BOX CONQUER: Move over Mike Tyson—these ladies fight diiiiirty in the boxing ring—well, that is until one is penalized for a move called the "pussy wedgie."
THE GROCER: You'll never gaze at a purple grape or a bright orange carrot the same way again!
CINDERFELLA: One of the world's best loved fairy tales gets a magical, sparkly, ass-eating makeover!
Many HUMP! screenings are already sold out! Don't miss the opportunity to see the sexiest, funniest, scream-iest show everyone else will be talking about for days!
GET YOUR TICKETS NOW FOR HUMP! 2014!