Top 10 Travel Destinations for Portlanders with In-Home Teleporters 

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1. Statue of Liberty. New York is for the birds! ... and people with personal teleporters! The only way to see the Big Apple is from the top of Ms. Liberty's crown, so pack the baguette, brie, and fave Arc'teryx parka and aim high for a "spike" of life!

2. The Oval Office. Give commander-in-chief life a whirl when you beam into Obama's quarters after hours! Skip the insufferable, tourist-clogged White House tours and transport yourself directly into the plush chair of "Big O"!

3. Arrakis. Hot, hot, hot! Strap on your Popina bikini and beam yourself to the spiciest planet of the Padishah Emperor's Imperial solar system. No beaches, just endless miles of curvaceous hellscape, and that means fewer tourists to hog the few delicious drops of moisture that you'll come to savor during your sizzling vacay!

4. Southern Oregon Wine Festival. This surprise pick fulfills our contractual obligation to use the phrase "Oregon wine country" in every issue! It's a barrel of laughs! Great mountain biking!

5. Easter Island. Brunch at Mother's, again? This April, ditch the brunch crowd and plan the holiday of a lifetime in the world's number-one novelty egg hunt location!

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