I’m going to assume you all played Katamari Damacy. Actually, scratch that — I’m going to assume that, like, six of you actually played it, but the rest of you were so inundated by references to the quirky ball-rolling action by those six that you essentially got the gist of the thing anyway. Good! Now […]
2008
Posted inNews
Good Morning, News!
A bomb near a Baghdad police station kills 18 in another example of escalating violence in Iraq. (President Bush? Stay away! The shoes should’ve been a hint!) When asked to tell his side of the story, Gov. Rod Blagojevich tells reporters to “hang loose.” Reporters respond, “Sure… whatever dude! Let’s go ride some tasty waves!” […]
Posted inSports
Blazers vs Kings – Hot Live Blog Action
Live from the temperature controlled Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers take on the Sacramento Kings. The Blazers have lost three in a row, so time for all of us to hop off the bandwagon and torch those “I Heart Rudy” shirts we just bought at Joe’s. It was fun while it lasted. But […]
Posted inMusic
Tomorrow’s Blind Pilot/Loch Lomond Show Rescheduled
End Hits interrupts its ongoing Arctic Death™ series to bring you the following bulletin: Due to weather, tomorrow night’s (Wednesday’s) Blind Pilot/Loch Lomond show at the Aladdin Theater has been rescheduled for Jan. 17, 2009. All tickets will be honored at that show. Just so ya know!
Posted inBlogs
A Letter from National Geographic (ULP!!)
So you remember our “Halloween Dress-Up” issue, right? The one where we disguised the Mercury as an issue of National Geographic, right? And you also know that the yellow band and distinctive design of National Geographic is a registered trademark that falls under protection of copyright laws… right? Then you can probably imagine my surprise […]
Posted inNews
The Mercury: Getting Answers for YouTM
Last week we announced that the news team would sleuth any good questions you’ve got lying around. Immediately, tax-loving reader Zach brought up an issue that caught my eye, too: Who decides on the design for the envelopes that the ballots come in? Myenvelope has “CONTAINS VOTE ON PROPOSED TAX INCREASE” written on the front. […]
Posted inDrunk
Sneak Peek at This Week’s Feature
I wrote a piece for the forthcoming issue on the forthcoming smoking ban, which goes into effect January 1. I had to share this last minute addition to the piece—which is a Q&A addressing all of your smoking ban questions. Question: How the hell is the Horse Brass going to get the nicotine off of […]
Posted inFood and Drink
What I Want for X-Mas
I found the perfect thing: You can keep your unnecessarily huge Hershey’s chocolate bars and popcorn quads, man. All I want is a classic Chanel purse made out of beef jerky by Nancy Wu. Also available: Louis Vuitton:
Posted inArtsy
RACC Grants Announced
The Regional Arts and Council Commission announced their 2009 grant awards today: Congratulations to Hand2Mouth, defunkt theatre, PDX Pop Now!, the IPRC, and the 98 other artists and organizations who will share $458,676 in grant money. (The money comes from the City of Portland, Multnomah, Washington, and Clackamas Counties, Metro, and the RACC’s Work for […]
Posted inPolitics
Excellent Questions about “The Shoes”
Via 236.com, by Jon Friedman. Questions That I Have for the Secret Service 1. Shouldn’t you have jumped in front of that shoe?2. Shouldn’t you have jumped in front of that second shoe?3. Second shoe = the one thrown after being removed from foot after first shoe was thrown.4. Let’s say people had three feet. […]
Posted inFood and Drink
More Food Trends for 2009
Peruvian Food: Huge in 2009! This time the food trend predictions are coming from Food Channel.com, who drew on the resources of The World Thought Bank and an organization called (a bit ominously, if you ask me) the International Food Futurists. With so many people putting their minds to the same subject, you might think […]
Posted inPortland
Damn You, Winter!
The last two days have been cold as hell and absolutely gorgeous. But just when you think the ice and snow is going to slowly disappear and bother us no more, the National Weather Service (NOAA) gives us this delightful warning (note that the all caps are a product of the Weather Service web page, […]