ALL OF YOU. STOP DOING THESE THINGS.

1. Photographing bands looking out the window contemplatively. “Oh I didn’t see you Mr. Photographer I was gazing out at the sunset contemplating my next ridiculously awful acoustic song a la the angry chick in Say Anything.” THIS ALSO GOES FOR BANDS STARING AT THE CAMERA IN AN IRONIC LOCATION.

2. “Fashion” and craft blogs. “Oh you’re taking a photo? I’m just gazing to the left with my right leg bent a little bit. I didn’t realize my outfit was so nice!” That goes for toes inward too you fucking idiots.

3. Sepia toned iphone photos. THIS IS SELF EXPLANATORY.

4. Oh so hilarious signs. Like Bill Murray. Come on now. Post no bills is funny. That’s just fucking stupid. Looking at you COURTNEY FERGUSON

4. Photos of hilarious Portland bikes/cats/dogs/dudes/whatever. No one cares Jesus Fucking Christ.

You are not photographers. This is not artistic. Get a job you fucking hobos and stop inflicting your eye horror on the rest of us.
*99% of this is directed at you Mercury Staff. But you are not alone.

39 replies on “To Local Photographers and Wanna-Bes with Phones”

  4. I care about pics of bikes and cats and whatever when I’m wasting time on the internet to distract myself from my job. I care (and I’m writing “I” in all caps for emphasis!)

    No one is inflicting anything on you. If you hate the site that much and see a need for something that isn’t being done, then you go out and do it.

  16. Ha ha. On the right of this is a photo from William Ross fashion photography where the model has the look to the side with leg bent pose.

    Amazing

  18. I like cats. When I walk down the street cats see me and know I’m a cat person. They all want to hear “hey, kitty!” so they’ll come up to me for those magic words.

    If I see a photo of a cat I’ll usually like that too. Unless it’s one of those cats that almost looks like a dog. For awhile I thought Emma Stone was a cat that looked like a dog.

  24. more photos of cats in sweaters doing weird things plz. Posing cats count too, or relating to other animals specially small monkeys.

  25. You’re lucky they even posted Photos for you BASTARDS! LEAVE COURTNEY ALONE! Damn, I thought I got worked up over trivial issues (I am usually joking, although the oh so clever posters on here don’t get it), I feel that you Anon should move on! hey, that rhymes! you should use that as you’re mantra.
    You’re welcome

  29. “So like, is everyone here complaining about, photos or something?”

    Look you fuckin hippie, put down the bong and read the thread your own damn self. Fyi, you lazy man!

  30. #27, yeah, what a bunch of whiners aren’t they?

    There also like, complaining, about the fat mother scenario. If your mother is fat, most likely by the age you hit 35, you will start to get crazy fat, and that doesn’t go well with the photos.

  32. “queue”…..what you have been posting is spanish for “what”.
    You’re welcome.
    Now get your dumb ass back to community college, “aright”

  33. Glad to see you taking precious time out of [what i’m sure is] your very busy life, just to pay attention to my grammar. It brings me joy to know that my words command soo much of your attention.

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