IT’S ELECTION DAY!: Vote, dammit! Also, follow our live blogging of the election results straight from the candidate’s parties later tonight. One of them is on a boat.
In More Important News: Japan now has the biggest public toilet in the world. It includes flower beds.
Education Station: The Portland School Board reaches a budget agreement, saving teachers and maintaining a full school year!
D.C. or Bust: Alaska Airlines now offers direct flights from Portland to Washington D.C. This will make the Mercury‘s trip to the Correspondent’s Dinner much easier.
Hungry for Human Rights: More than 2,000 Palestinian prisoners end their hunger strike after leaders strike a deal allowing a more humane treatment of prisoners.
Ron Paul Out: Presidential candidate and college student favorite Ron Paul has dropped out of the race (after holding on for a impressively long time). Oh, Ron.
Jay-Z Loves Obama: And also gay marriage, according to a CNN interview. Except he still hates politics.
TTYL: A New Jersey town bans texting while walking, promising a $85 fine if they catch anyone breaking the law. Or running into a pole.
Bad Cop: Someone posing as a police officer in Mississippi is pulling people over and shooting them dead. Strangely, people are afraid to tell the police.
Murdochgate: Ex News of the World editor Rebekah Brooks and her husband are charged in trying to cover up the publication’s phone hacking scandal. I feel like this as been going on forever.
And if You Still Don’t Know Who to Vote For: Vote Knope.
And here I thought flower beds were already the world’s largest public toilets.
GOOD MORNING, ALEX!!! HOW ARE YOU?!? “Expect he still hates politics. ” I THINK YOU A WORD. OR SHOULD I EXCEPT THAT JAY-Z WILL CONTINEU TO BE HOVAH AND REPPING FOR QUEENSBRIDGE EVEN THOUGH HE HASN’T BEEN THERE IN 20 YEARS?
EXPECT
EXCEPT
ACCEPT
YO!
Wait. So the guy holding the “Ron Paul Can Win!” sign on the Burnside bridge yesterday was WRONG?!
I was hoping that the world’s biggest public toilet could serve several sitters at once, if proper safety procedures were followed. Japan, you have disappointed me again.
Also, you should each watch several YouTube videos featuring Virginia O’Brien, AKA “Miss Frozen Face.” I’m in love!
It’s time for a change! Oops, sorry, thought we were talking about presidential elections