Ever wanted to squeeze $300 from the rapidly desiccating corpse of print media? THEN READ ON!

If you haven’t already submitted 300 terror-filled words to our True Tales of TriMet Terror contest, now’s pretty much your last chance—the contest ends at noon. So get squeezing.

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YES, THE TRAM COUNTS.

With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.