I, Anonymous

I subscribe to a car-sharing company. Yesterday after I parked and was gathering my stuff, I did the usual reach under the seat. I pulled out one of those clear plastic Christmas candy cane tubes, the kind usually filled with crappy generic M&Ms—nasty candy. So here I am, just after twilight, pulling this out into what light was left. I can see there is something in it but am not sure what. Cash? Weed? I pounded it into my fist a couple times and gently pulled out a gross-ass pair of bloody underwear. A distinct foul smell followed. I dropped them and the candy cane onto the ground and took a step back. Fuck. Now I have to pretty much cut my hands off. I started across the street to find someplace to scrub the funk off. I got three houses down when some old guy starts with, “Hey, ya dropped something over there!” and I said “Oh, I know, I’ll be right back in a sec!” I didn’t go back. Thanks, gross panty lady.—Anonymous