Anonymous

[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds] He peels off my clothes, like a starving man would peel an orangeHis lips taste my juicy sweetness My legs tangle with hisWe become one beingA burning furnace In the cold cement basement of love—Anonymous

[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds] Here’s a notion for how we might creatively employ some of our climate mitigations funds. let blocks that can reach a consensus , close themselves off to vehicle traffic. Redo the water, sewer, and electrical lines […]

[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds] The pickles won and you danced like it was the World Series. After the game we locked eyes, me the guy with glasses, and we both did a turn to look back! I felt it, would […]

[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds] The year was 1994. You were the hot waitress and I was the dumpy cook. You would only acknowledge me as needed and treated me very shitty. I was nothing but nice and professional but wasn’t […]

[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds] I have to use a work device that is shared with other coworkers. And damn, what’s on some of the screens is a little enlightening. I always knew it but it’s just more confirmation. It’s not […]

[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds] I work in a retirement community, and sometimes visitors try to tip us, even those of us who don’t work in dining. Which is very sweet, but we cannot accept tips. And when I say, “That’s […]

[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds] Oregon has given 400 million in tax breaks to data centers and is proposing 600 million to go to a Billionaire to create luxury updates to Moda that will price out working class people from seeing […]

There is a new exploitation out there called “pet rent.” All I want is to live in a nice house for a normal-ass price, and take care of that shit like I own it while I’m saving enough money to one day actually own something like it. Maybe you’ve owned this dream so long you’ve […]

I am 43 years old and childless by choice. I like kids. I just don’t want to raise one. However, I’d like to think that if I did have kids, and I was bicycling with them, and I chose to do it on the sidewalk, I’d teach them to slow down when they approach a […]

Look, I know when I park out on Sauvie Island at one of the “clothing optional” entry points, I’ll see some stuff that I won’t really want to see (like the Porky Pig gentlemen who wear shirts and hiking boots, but no pants). It’s the sacrifice I make a few times a year so my […]

To the three people who yelled, “Hey, catch!” and threw an unopened penis pump our way: My buddy and I thought it was hilarious. We were right next to Sheridans, so it’s possible you may have come straight from Taboo? Either way, it was truly a nice gesture, dear fellows. The following night, when my […]