To the person who left this note on my bike at Sunday Parkways NE “You just gave this event a Black eye. Locking your Bike to My tree was Not cool” 1. Parking strips are a part of the public right of way in Portland. Its OUR tree. Yes, it would have been more polite of me to lock my bike in Alberta Park but there were thousands of bikes locked to every tree in the park. My bike is expensive. I didn’t want it to get stolen in the 20 minutes it took me to buy my kid a snow cone. 2. Comparing what I did to giving someone a black eye is hyperbolic bullshit. Portland has too many whiny babies like you whose lives are so priviledged they think not having total control of every molecule that comes near them every second of everyday is the same as being the victim of an act of interpersonal violence. Trust me, its not.

16 replies on “Portland is so Anal”

  2. Was this a mature tree or one of those newly planted trees with a “Friends of Trees” tag still attached? If the former, IAnon has a pretty good point. If the latter, locking a bike to a developing tree is just bad form and can lead to bark damage and is not all that smart to do with an expensive bike because it likely takes a few seconds with the right tool to cut through the wood.

  3. Whiny: “…but there were thousands of bikes locked to every tree in the park.”

    Privileged: “My bike is expensive. I didn’t want it to get stolen…buy my kid a snow cone.”

    “Portland has too many whiny babies like you…” Indeed.

  5. You’re correct, anon–parking strips ARE public. While it may be a mild annoyance to have someone lock up their bike (for longer than twenty minutes, even!), these perturbed homeowners don’t own the tree that’s on the curb by the street. Just like when people buy those “no parking signs” and put them on red cones and then place them on the street in front of their houses: they don’t own the street, so they don’t own the right to tell people they can’t park in front of their house.

    There’s just one thing, anon: your bike being expensive basically means dick in this situation. Plenty of people with expensive bikes park them in crowded places all the time; I get you were going to be on your way out, but don’t pull the ‘worried about your bike being stolen’ card because you aren’t the only one who has a nice enough bike worth stealing.

  8. Where can I purchase or own a tree so it can be My Tree? No, really? It will really be Our tree because I will totally share and stuff

  11. Portland should have a fleet of public bikes just sitting around that all people can use and that never need.to be locked up because they belong to everybody. And they could all be painted hot pink for breast cancer awareness.

  12. @ Tummyshpooon

    Or chain it to Wm. Steven Humphrey! Steven better!

    @ Cry Anonymous

    You know who else likes misplaced bike chains and anal?

    Your Mom.

  14. If someone left a passive aggressive note like that for me I would be so devastated that I would basically have to apologize in the only way that they would definitely see. I would carve my apology into their tree.

Comments are closed.