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Last night I had to watch Kick-Ass 2, and one of the many things wrong with Kick-Ass 2 is that there is no Nicolas Cage. This is, obviously, problematic, and it doesn’t help that the characters are always talking about Nicolas Cage’s character from the first movie—essentially reminding you, over and over, how much better Kick-Ass 2 would be if Nicolas Cage was in it and not just being mentioned all the time.

ANYWAY, that got me thinking about Nicolas Cage, which meant I spent a few hours last night looking for cool stuff about Nicolas Cage on the internet, and LOOK! Nicolas Cage is going to be in a movie based on those super-creepy Left Behind books!

Stoney Lake Entertainment, led by Paul Lalonde of faith-oriented banner Cloud Ten Pictures, is producing along with Jason Hewitt of Films in Motion and Michael Walker. Film began shooting Friday in Baton Rouge, La., with Vic Armstrong directing and John Patus penning script.

The Left Behind reboot will follow a group of survivors during the first few hours after millions of people around the globe simply vanish without warning. [SPOILER: IT’S THE RAPTURE! —Erik]

Cage is playing the pilot of a jumbo jet, trying to calm his hysterical passengers. (Via.)

“Wait… a REBOOT?” you ask? Oh, of course! Do you know why?

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Yeah. Because Kirk Cameron already made it, and now Nicolas Cage is making it, and just picture this except with Nicolas Cage in it:

“The sun is gone! Fire is raining from the sky!” *KABOOM* “Hi, I’m Nicolas Cage.”

Why isn’t the internet ON FIRE about this? Why aren’t you guys more excited about this? Do none of you understand how amazing this will be?

With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.

3 replies on “Prepare Thyself: Nicolas Cage is Making <i>Left Behind</i>”

  2. back to confusing the photo with Chris o donnells, while peeking inside the august 19 people I got confused with amanda seyfried and the girl from tokyo who was in the tom cruise movie about alien invaders i just had it in my head but then again the girl on the cover kind of looks like Both rachel bilson and Brittany Murphy, what do you think?
    Nicolas Cage! awesome. constant movie making..at a jean claude van damme rate. When I saw the photo of him blinking and opening his mouth I thought of not we’re no angels but another film with that 976 EVIL man in it, hes’ not a kid anymore, so I’m just typing nonstop on PURPOSE, I’de like to get on the WSJ and say something about JONAH GOLDBERG having a DAY OFF on display inside tuesdays LA TIMES, I cut it out, i need to tell somebody.

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