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Point: Bucket Drummers Are The Worst

There is nothing more annoying than a bucket drummer. Unlike any other annoying people downtown, bucket drummers have the unique ability to drive you crazy from up to two blocks away!

There are loads of cool things a talented drummer can do, but for some reason, the drummers of Portland buckets don’t seem to know any. It seems they’re more interested in banging at random on a pile of garbage in front of the mall.

Busking is a perfectly reasonable activity for a musician, but bucket drums are to music what those Jesusy comic books are to Moby-Dick.

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Counter-Point: I’d Rather Have A Bucket Drummer In My Living Room Than a For-Profit Fundraiser Anywhere In My City
You know what’s great about bucket drummers? They’re immobile. The binder-toting canvassers downtown will follow you while you’re walking, they’ll try to touch you, they’ll pretend that they’re just being friendly, they’ll do whatever it takes to stop you from getting where you’re going.

While drummers just make their music and leave it up to you to give them money or not, the binder beggars will pretend to be a friend. They will lie. They will say anything to separate you from your credit card number.

And while drummers may fill up a whole corner, the fundraising minions set up on opposite sides of the street so you can’t even cross to avoid them.

Alex is a moderately attractive comedian and Internet celebrity. He writes about philosophy, robots, travel, and himself.

10 replies on “Point/Counterpoint: Who Is More Annoying, Bucket Drummers or For-Profit Fundraisers?”

  4. I think the people who don’t like bucket drummers are mostly the people who work near them and have to hear them all day. And, in that context, it totally makes sense to hate them.

    I walk by them and I’m like, “this sounds great!” But I have the luxury of walking away.

  5. The clipboarders are only annoying when they’re rookies. The wily veter’ns who’ve been out there for years (yes, there are a few) will recognize you after a while and will ignore you.

  6. I also like bucket drummers! If one is nearby I will remove my headphones and listen to them. If I see a fundraiser, though, the headphones go in and I avoid eye contact.

  7. Fuck 99% of bucket drummers and 100% of clipboarders.

    “Being a Personally Intrusive, Loud Piece of Shit in Public” should not be a viable thing.

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