You homeowner people who leave your garbage/recycle bins out nightly as a way to reserve your parking spot(s). A big fuck you from the guy who skootchies them down in the street in my total beater of a car.
Also, when expecting friends, I’m the guy who puts them on the goddamn curb. Where they belong. So others can park. You assholes don’t get it do you? When it’s the third or fourth time you’ve had to have containers replaced, it’s time to figure it out. Also:
Your wife has been checking me out as well. She’s not too bad looking. I’d definitely throw one in her if she asked. And she probably will so fucking put that shit next to your garage, like you use to.

12 replies on “Garbage Can’ts”

  3. Wait, put his wife by the garbage? Like he used to?

    I love when people get so heated mashing out their rant that they turn into an incoherent mess. You started off collected, but by the end you were a raging sweaty nightmare.

  4. So some gnarly cooze is probably obliged to get railed by a needle dicked hipster wanting parking spots for his stupid posse?!

    Jesus h.

  6. Tag line is kinda clever, but if you run over garbage cans for fun I doubt you have the panache to poach an egg, let alone your neighbors wife. Maybe you should try kidnapping his dog next time OR…you could knock on his door, etc, etc.

  8. Also, I love it when all of the immediate dislikes are obviously by the Anon who is perma-refreshing the comments. So so sad.

  10. His wife is checking you out, and she is not too bad looking.
    Something tells me your ego has reached new heights. You really have a rant that is unique,fresh and well, just too hard to figure out.

  12. To recap…

    Please handle your garbage/recyclables in a manner I deem fit. If you balk at my request, (insert delusions of grandeur here) I will stick my penis in your wife.

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