I’m not gonna lie, man, I don’t want to kill you, though you think otherwise—I just want to punch you in your lizard lips just once. One good crack to remind you that your sleazy, cheater raver ways are pretty fucking sketch for a thirty-five year old. But you won’t play. You’re a man of your weak-ass times. I understand why you’re hesitant. I’ve been boxing since I was a kid. A crack from me will not feel good. All I can say, is my fist won’t feel good either. I’ve punched a lot of people. Nobody really wins. Here’s your choice: take a crack from me, a Portland fucking working-class native, or move the fuck back to wherever shitheads like you come from—you’re BMW looks pretty fast. Otherwise, every scary person I know hangs out at your regular bars. Maybe next time someone says you stay away from their girlfriend, you’ll fucking listen and go back to cheating on your wife somewhere else.

8 replies on “Kick Rocks Lizard Lips”

  2. This sounds like a totally legitimate threat of violence. The really serious threats are always delivered anonymously, to nobody in particular.

  3. I wish when sending the Mercury a I, Anonymous, that you should have to fill out a field drop down tab that tells us the anonymous persons age. What’s a Lizard Lip?

  4. Why not join Fight Club? You will be able to apply your cracks to other Fight Club members and also receive cracks from them as well. Why do you not join Fight Club?

  5. It’s the 21st century and the age of testosteroniburger violence is coming to a close. This disagreement would be better settled with a spirited game of Rock’em Sock’em Robots.

  8. According to Urban Dictionary, Lizard Lips are extremely dry labia. I believe the author will not have much sucess locating this gentleman’s Lizard Lips.

    That said, he should consider punching the dude in the yarbles instead. Now I’m not advocating violence here, but if you’re gonna threaten blunt force to someone’s body, at least make certain that your threat is anatomically correct.

Comments are closed.