GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Ladies leave your man at home. The club is full of ballers and their pockets are full grown. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

Caitlyn Jenner received the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPYs last night, as well as a standing ovation from the crowd. Now that’s something I thought I’d never live to see.

Oh, but here’s a headline that shows how much farther we still have to go: “Caitlyn Jenner wows in Versace at ESPYs.”

In more dispiriting news, the homophobic owners of Oregon’s Sweet Cakes by Melissa, who refused to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple and paid the price, has raised $350,000 on their crowdfunding site from other homophobes with apparently too much money on their hands.

Chairman of Portland’s Human Rights Commission, Chabre Vickers, suggested last night that the city’s community police relations group would cease operations for the next three months because in their view, not enough was being accomplished… then changed her mind.

An “active shooter” is reportedly on a spree currently at a Chattanooga, TN naval reserve center. A nearby community college is on lockdown.

Former vice president and climate champion Al Gore verbally smacks down Obama for his part in allowing oil drilling in the Arctic.

While President Obama says there is “no mechanism” for revoking Bill Cosby’s US Medal of Freedom, and wouldn’t comment on the allegations, he did offer reporters a definition of rape.

Ellen Pao, who has resigned as CEO of Reddit, reflects on being a woman in the tech industry—and how it was “inevitable they would turn on her.”

A California judge hits Uber with a $7.5 million fine for refusing to give state regulators information about their business practices, which includes accident reports and (something we’ve been covering with interest) providing vehicles for disabled riders.

Republican presidential wannabe Chris Christie agrees there are too many people in prison, but still refuses to do anything about drug laws… sooooooooo…..

TLC finally cancels 19 Kids and Counting… and right on cue here’s the Duggar family’s stupid press release.

Now here’s what’s going on in your neck of the woods: Partially cloudy today with a high of 78—but a HOT weekend lies ahead!

And finally… two baby elephants, one kiddie pool!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

4 replies on “Good Morning, News: Caitlyn Jenner’s Standing O, Uber Fined Again, and YAY! Baby Elephants!”

  1. It’s my guess, Steve, that anyone who wears Versace probably wants it mentioned that they wore Versace. (It still hurts me that you didn’t mention my Manolo Blahniks last time we met.)

  2. Man it must be nice when you are an awful employee who is fired from a series of jobs to just be able to play the gender card… Pao should go look for work as a spokeswoman for the national narcissist association.

  3. Too much attention is being paid to Caitlyn and not near enough to our wounded and maimed for life warriors. Any one of them deserves a hero medal way more then he/she does.

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