I love the arguments these transplants give on why we should be THANKING THEM for moving here. It’s funny when they moan and complain over how much we moan and complain. The questions I have found to stump them in their tracks as a glazed over look comes over their face are simple. I ask them why did they move here? Was not their previous town good enough? Were not the jobs plentiful? Rent affordable? Cost of living low? Not a one of them will answer any of these questions… and why? Because they all left their previous cities because shit got too expensive! And yet, when we complain about them causing shit to be too expensive, we should be thanking them? See, their all a bunch of hypocrites who are too afraid/dumb/arrogant/greedy to admit it. Want to see my point proven? Just read the comments after this post and see if ONE OF THEM answers the above questions.
Deer in the Headlights
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He may not be a transplant, but I know one proud gun-toting homeowner that’ll be all over this one.
1) Because I wanted to
2) no
3) yes
4) yes
5) sort of
6) learn how to spell, you little biotch
You know, back in the Good Old Days of Portland, we didn’t have these asshole natives complaining about transplants, until the Californians showed up.
I stump imaginary people with hard hitting questions like yours all the time too! We here in Portland would love to know what happens when you ask actual people your brain busters in real life. It’ll probably propel you onto the lecture circuit. Maybe you can do some public debating. Your audience waits with bated breath.
i moved here from chicago because i was tired of wading through snow up to my eyebrows, i love the pacific shore, hot springs, mountains and food trucks. welcome to the u.s. where our constitutional rights still include the right to travel.
Top Reasons for Moving to Portland
10. To start a career in the lucrative dishwashing / barback industry
9. We make Oprah’s favorite ice cream (how cool is that?!)
8. Food carts! They’re like restaurants but there’s nowhere to sit and it’s raining and they’re out of forks again
7. To crash Isaac Brock’s amazing backyard tea parties
6. Your parents are starting to think that diploma from Barista University was a waste of money
5. To “smash the system” by punctually delivering legal documents, blueprints and Jimmy John’s subs on your murdered-out NJS-approved track bicycle
4. You heard Portland was super-white and you wanted to tell all your fellow white people how to be more diverse
3. It’s the only city with brunch
2. You thought Fred Armisen could give you some tips on dating
1. Home of Sleater-Kinney’s own Carrie Bradshaw
Agreed, so sick of comments on posts how about “Everything changes, and change is good.” Yes, we know everything changes. Oregonians are usually ahead of the curve on things changing for the better, like the bottle bill or Death With Dignity. But sometimes NOT changing is in our best interest, like the fact that Oregon is the only state to not restrict abortion after Roe V. Wade and keeping the urban growth boundary to protect our resources which will become even more important as our population grows.
We can keep our ways, and newbs can empathize instead of a cycle of complaining. It CAN be done. But you have to become One. Of. Us. One. Of. Us. One. Of. Us…
Stop making Portlanders look like selfish little whiny bitches staring in the mirror at the wonder of themselves, IANON writer.