…I get half of the money.”
Gasp. I am sorry, what did you just say to me? Why did you just say that to me? I am still trying to understand this leftfield question \ statement \ wanna be pimp declaration. The fact that we had a few drinks, you guys are old friends that I only see once every week or two and you are saying this to me in front of her makes me pretty bummed out and confused. Shit, this revealing statement could mean a lot of things. Is she a pro on the side ? Is it an inside joke because you think I want to fuck her? Do you have complete control over her body and soul? Are you really in that dire of a position to try and sell me your girlfriend? Fuck man. Are you bummed out that every woman you try and set me up with is batshit crazy and I don’t want anything to do with them so you are trying to throw me a peice of your girlfriend ? Does she secretly want me and this is your way of breaking the ice? I am still reeling in this strange direction you are trying to steer me down in the final minutes of this night out.
” I do not pay for sex.” I say as I get out of the car. “Ah, thanks for the ride.” I am truly confused and saddened by this strange turn of events .I thought it is pretty obvious to you I don’t have trouble getting laid and I have the luxury of being selective. I don’t share my stories of sexual exploits to you or anyone but just because I am not talking about it doesn’t mean i am not happy or active. Furthermore, thanks but no thanks.
Welcome to the sharing economy, bro.
I/A, this is a great read with Christmas music in the background. Honestly, you are quite a writer. Here is my take. You see them once a week or so. Maybe you might want to tone that back to once in six months. They sound crude to me, and are a little jealous of you. They have so much baggage compared to your more selective taste and manners.
Who gets half of What doesn’t matter. What matters is How Much is What?
Couple questions: Is she a babe? Do you have feelings for her? How did she react when Slick tossed that at you? That would tell us a lot. Either your old buddy is a total Tool or he’s telling you “back away from my sweetie Shithead!”. It was a great read. Thanks.
Sounds to me like you aren’t very selective with your friends anyway. According to your story you were getting driven home by someone who was drunk when they offered sex with the woman for money and it doesn’t even sound like he was cutting you friend prices. Time to move on, oh and maybe call a cab next time.
I think your writing is for shit. You sound like an ass hole.
“That’s fine. Let me see how much change I have.”
In Old Portland you didn’t take half the money, you took all of it. Damn transplants.
Brandt can’t watch, or he has pay a $100.
Prodigal, back in the Good Old Days of Portland, it was a nickel. A shiny nickel and you accepted the consequences like a goddamned Man. Then the Californians came and all of a sudden it was a full quarter! And still the same consequences!
Jayzzzuuus (eye roll) maybe it was a simple, admittedly crass, joke where all involved are the butt of it… Your inner dialogue sounds like a fucking nightmare. Relax and get out of your head for a while.