You and your 20 something girlfriend were browsing the shirt section at Goodwill on N Broadway. You thought you were being funny when you saw the t-shirt, held it up high to your middle class hipster girlfriend and smugly said “Nothing says close minded redneck like a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert t-shirt!”. YOU are the close minded hipster mother f*#r that Oregonians love to hate and claim are ruining Portland for everyone. I have 5 points to make and then I will shut up forever: 1. YOU ARE IN A SECOND HAND STORE BROWSING THE T SHIRTS! What did you expect to find? .2.YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW WHAT LYNYRD SKYNYRD SONGS ARE ABOUT OR REMEBER THEY ALMOST ALL DIED IN TRAGIC A PLANE CRASH! 3. YOU ARE THE BIGOTTED CLOSE MINDED A HOLE4. I’M NOT EVEN A FAN AND I WANT TO DEFEND THEM BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCH AN ARROGANT ASS. 5. I am too much of a coward to confront your bigoted, classist, hipster bullshit in person so I’m telling you on this website so I don’t have to ruin your hipster bigoted date night. Yes, I am judging YOU with my closed mind.

9 replies on “Goodwill Store Bigots”

  1. Ummm Anon I hate to break it to you, but Lynyrd Skynyrd does correlate strongly with redneck behavior and ethos. You are wrong. There are two kinds of hippies, the Lynyrd Skynyrd types and the Grateful Dead types. The LS hippies are scary meth heads who hump their guns and trucks and Confederate flags, while the GD hippies are passive weed smokers who want to hug you all the time. I grew up around the former and so prefer the latter. I think Anon you should spend some time in the South where hate talk always has Lynyrd Skynyrd playing in the background.

  5. I remember LS ragging on Neil Young’s ‘Southern Man’ on their ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ song. I can understand LS’s point of view. Geeze there must be two or three people in Alabama that don’t cater to that bull whips cracking line Neil was referring to of 150 years ago. I’m pretty sure in their ‘heart of hearts’ Alabamer’s would vote to bring back the whips and noose. I did like LS a lot, but I hate it when country rock groups blast out with lines like “I knew it was time to get my gun and end the fun” or reminisce of old “Dixie”. It’s like singing of the WWII days in ol’ Germany or Japan with fondness.

    If I got off topic I’m sorry. I think I’ll sing “Free Bird for an hour or so now.

  8. As a Jacksonville, FL native (Skynyrd’s hometown), I can state, without a doubt, that–regardless of how douchey and judgmental that guy might have been about it–he was 100% correct. The band sucks and their fans are ‘neck dumbfucks.

    Corollary: People screaming out SKYNYRD or FREEBIRD or whatever at concerts–*especially* ironically–are the fucking worst.

  9. Skynyrd don’t care what you or these shoppers think. Never did anything you could call racist, unless you are all butthurt about a rebel flag on stage in 1975.

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