You came over and I insisted that we watch Point Break. This movie speaks to me in ways you will apparently never understand; you hated it. I couldn’t fathom why anyone would hate such a masterpiece and that’s when I knew it would never work out between us.

I was born in 1992, one year after this movie was made. Coincidence? I think not! The flow, the feel, the formula of this movie is beyond reproach. How can you not like it, I asked you… timid in your answer, you stated “I just didn’t get it.” DIDN’T GET IT? What. The. Fuck?!

Who doesn’t get perfection? Who doesn’t get the struggle between right and wrong? Good and evil? Heterosexuality and homosexuality? Who the fuck doesn’t get these battles that humans have struggled with since we crawled our way out of the primordial muck?

Johnny Utah and Bohdi get this shit, man.

OK, we had sex after the move and it was good, but that doesn’t mean anything to me. It was really just the bourbon talking.

I can never ever see you again because you just don’t get it. I mean, yeah, you had a nice package, but how dare you insult and tarnish the good name of Point Break, you fool.

11 replies on “Vaya con Dios”

  1. Let me get this straight…

    That person doesn’t understand you on a fundamental level based on their failure to truly “get” Point Break?

    Then you fuck said person and dismiss them summarily.

    Have you ever been Point Break slut-shamed before? Well, you have now.

  2. This I A needs to lurk in the theatres showing the new Point Break. A target-rich environment, to quote Johnny Utah’s mentor.

  7. “Coincidence? I think not.” You mean your estranged father impregnated your deranged mother in a theater showing this masterpiece?

  10. Recent studies have shown that individuals who don’t “get” Point Break are the most attentive, astute lovers. Also, consider yourself lucky that someone was willing to fuck you after you purposely chose to watch Point Break like it’s a thing anybody would do pre-coitus, you poor young thing.

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