Yesterday we spotted this potentially blasphemous article titled, “In Defense of Voodoo Doughnut,” over on Medium.
Has it come to this? The end of days? In what parallel universe is Portland actually defending Voodoo Doughnuts and not throwing them to the tourism wolves?
Turns out it’s a universe that makes a lot of sense. One that we briefly visited last week when Los Angeles Magazine published this piece telling us to “keep our stupid doughnuts.”
Here’s our response, that basically boils down to, “Shut up LA! No one insults our novelty doughnuts but us!”
This new defense of Voodoo makes a few key points:
*Voodoo is a Portland institution, whether you like it or not.
*Without Voodoo, places like Blue Star wouldn’t exist.
*Blue Star—or any other fancy doughnut—as it turns out, is still just a fucking doughnut.
*If it isn’t quirky donuts that we promote, what is it? Probably something shittier.
I’d like to add that whatever you think of the actual taste of the doughnuts, you can’t deny that Voodoo’s celebrity tributes are pretty awesome.
A photo posted by Voodoo Doughnut (@voodoodoughnut) on
The full defense is worth a read, but here’s an excerpt:
People in Portland look down on Voodoo for the same reason they look down on Beaverton: they’re just making conversation. Most donuts at Voodoo are between $1 to $2. Can you even get a cup of coffee in Portland now for that? A dollar for a donut isn’t bad, even if it is a little stale. When people talk about how much better Blue Star is than Voodoo, all I hear is “I can afford to spend $30 on a dozen donuts, so I’m very important, AS YOU CAN TELL.” It’s the Portland version of wearing a chinchilla coat, or carrying a tiny dog around in a $900 purse.
Does that mean Voodoo is the blue collar doughnut of the people? Not exactly, but maybe we should quit talking shit about them just because it’s easy.
Next time you see that pink box, rethink that eye roll. Or as the article suggests:
Maybe next time your out-of-town friend suggests going to Voodoo, you hold your tongue. Maybe instead, you let them have their moment. Maybe you go wait in that stupid line in Old Town, buy a stale donut with cereal on it, look at your friend, and say “This is great, isn’t it? Please don’t move here.”
If you want more you can follow the writer on twitter @pdxbrocialite. But be nice to him, OK?
Today I’ve been called a snide douche and a reverse classist because of a blog post I wrote about donuts 😂
— Dikembe Mutombro (@pdxbrocialite) May 26, 2016
Remember, it’s just a fucking doughnut.
People on the internet are stupid. Heavenly Donuts are the best.
what?? Who in Portland rolls their eyes at Voodoo? The donuts taste much healthier than other donuts- less sugar I dunno, but I can actually eat a few of voodoo donuts and not get sick. As for the penis thing, I think Portlanders love it.
I just love Voo Doo and so do my family when they visit. Just a fun thing, and they are so darn tasty.
Yep, Heavenly Donuts are the best in the Portland metro area. Even if they spell doughnuts wrong.
Yes Voodoo is gross and stale but when LA can talk shit about Ptown it truly is the end times.
So Blue Star playing Modest Mouse is the equivalent of a Starbucks playing the new Keb Mo? The New Guster? The New Feist? If the Voodoo employees chose to play Lonesome Crowded West would they be lame? Everyone’s fried doughpinions are totally valid, it’s all ok. My point, I guess, is I’M OLD AND DON’T UNDERSTAND INTERNET TAKES ANYMORE.
SHRUG EMOJI
Doughnut. Otherwise you might as well start spelling it the Merkyuree. And while no one’s saying Voodoo makes “bad” doughnuts, unless you’ve just had your life sentence commuted or your doctor reversed your orders to steer clear of sugars and glutens, there’s no excuse to wait in a long line for doughnuts.
Those of us who have been here long enough used to bring Voodoo Doughnuts to our relatives in other cities because it was one of those things that was unique about Portland. Long before they were popularized by TV.
Now that there are other fine options, they don’t look as good in comparison…but for a long while, they were the best thing going.
To me, this sounds like people who have lived here less than 6 years lamenting the loss of “Old Portland”. You’ve not been here long enough to have context.
Who fucking cares about donuts. The real issue here is that Ian Karmel is a fat hack.
I have been telling you for years, your children are so fucked if they go to PPS. Private school is how they get rid of the “untrainables”. More white rich privilegeds segregated. And the world turns…